


Everybody Needs a Change.

by embalmer56, princessladybug



Series: The Swing Set 'Verse [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Play, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Implied Destiel - Freeform, Infantilism, M/M, Nonsexual Ageplay, Sammy hates the naughty step, Sammy is adorable, Spanking, The one where Cas buys a house, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 07:41:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 42,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embalmer56/pseuds/embalmer56, https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessladybug/pseuds/princessladybug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a small mistake almost kills Dean, Sammy feels responsible. Even though Cas and Dean assured him that he was not at fault, Sammy is still dealing with his emotions. Feeling like all he ever does is make mistakes and cause accidents, he finds a way to have accidents and still be a good boy, but not without tears, fear, and eventually hugs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Hiya readers. First off, my apologies for the insane amount of time that it took for the next part of this series. If you continue reading the notes, you will understand why.  
> 2\. Second, thanks for all the support that I have gotten for this Universe. It’s been excellent to hear from you, make new friends, and see all the kudos coming in. You are part of the reason that this story is being written.  
> 3\. Another thing, I want to thank my new cohort in crime in this Universe. She has yet to write a story for SSV (but I’m working on it), but she contributes just as much as I do. She analyzes and helps me understand the characters so much more, and we have over 200 emails really working and exploring the mindsets of Cas, Dean, and Sammy. So… without her, this part of the story would have never been written.  
> 4\. I said that my readers were part of the reason that Kelly and I spend so much time invested in SSV, the other part is because we feel like Age Play and Nonsexual Age Play stories are extremely important and highly under valued. These stories are not meant to be quick fantasy age play or daddy!kink reads. They are meant to be representational of the real dynamics between caregiver and little. A lot of people keep asking for fluff, and I try and give a healthy amount of it, but there will always be an equal amount of angst and emotional moments. Sam and Dean are representation of real people trying to accept a new role within them. That is never easy, and usually results in doubt, tears, and denial. I know plenty of people that struggle with their little’s, and I want our characters of Dean and Sam in these stories to give them some direction or at least a little bit reassurance that being little isn’t always easy. It has its fun moments, but like any relationship it has its hard moments too.  
> 5\. Infantilism warning, since I know some people are squicked by this.. There are new developments for Sammy in this story, as he goes deeper into his role as a little boy. It is not something that I am willing to apologize about, because, this is just the way that we felt that our Sammy would go, and trust me… we spent several emails back and forth rationalizing why Sammy would want this change in his life.  
> 6\. This particular story is Sammy centric, Dean will play a huge role later one, but this is a Sammy story. Don’t worry… we have a timeline of three or four planned and one of them will be a Dean centric story. So, for those of you waiting on little/Daddy Dean… you will get your crack.  
> 7\. ***MOST IMPORTANT*** Kelly and I have set up a SSV centric blog on tumblr. We post snippets, updates, SSV related things, answer questions, etc. You really really really should follow it and get involved. You can find it [here.](http://swingsetverse.tumblr.com/)  
> 8\. Also, important. Feedback, feedback, feedback. We really like knowing what you think and feel and we accept all forms of criticism, advice, suggestions, thoughts, comments. You would be surprised how much I have used reader’s thoughts to shape what has happened. 
> 
> Kelly's additional Notes:
> 
> Hello, I'm the new co-writer for SSV, Kelly. I have the honor of having some creative input for this fan fiction and will be working behind the scenes for most of it.
> 
> I'll be lurking for the most part but as my new friend, Emmy, said there is A LOT of changes to the story since we started to talk and we feel it is for the best of the characters interest. If there's any questions, comments, or even suggestions for the story, I would be more than happy to talk to you on our new tumblr. :)))
> 
> Again, I'll be in the shadows for the most part, but if you guys want to talk I'll come ^^. Emmy explained most of it, so enjoy!!

* * *

 

After Sammy got so sick, Cas made up his mind. He was finished raising his little boys on the road in stuffy, unclean motel rooms. That lifestyle worked for the hunters, but it was not suitable for Dean and Sammy when they were in need of their little boy headspace. In Cas’ opinion, being on the road their whole lives was one of the reasons they were testing these relationships in the first place. No child wants to travel cross-country with an obsessed and alcoholic father, and it was one of the many reasons the boys had no childhood. The motels and the hunting had aged them before they should have been adults. Now, it was Cas’ responsibility to give them the opportunity to de-age themselves, and he would go to hell and back before he made them do that again on the road.

Cas did the only sensible thing he could think off; he proposed the idea of buying a house.

By that simple proposition, Castiel evoked War World III—aka Winchester War III—between himself and the Winchester Boys. Well, one Winchester boy.

Dean yelled for hours, till he was red in the face and hoarse. Dean, being the control freak that he is, could not accept the fact that Cas expected them to settle down. He panicked. How could they afford this? How would they have money? What about saving people?

Cas tried to assure him that they would be fine. He was an Angel, after all, and he had a few miracles in his back pocket. The fiancial problem was laid to rest after Cas finally put his foot down and told him to knock it off.

The hunting subject, however, never went away, and no matter how many times Cas assured him that he did not have to take care of everyone and it was his turn to be taken care off, Dean would not buy it. He told Cas that he would kill him if he did not let him hunt, and while Cas could have easily forced Dean into his little space and spanked him till he was begging to never hunt again, he respected Dean’s need for adult time. It was important for him, despite the fact Cas worried about him, hunting would always be part of who Dean was, just like his little boy was part of him. So, Cas reached the peace treaty of WWIII. This move did not change the fact that he was a hunter, and he would not be done until he—alone—decided that he was done. That brought up the subject of Sammy.

Sam Winchester had respectfully bowed out of Winchester War III early on. Cas could only assume that it was his distaste for confrontation and the need to not take sides. He spent the many hours of Dean yelling on his laptop, the few times that Dean beckoned for him to say something, Sam respectfully declined under the pretense of research. When it was clear that Sam was not going to join the heated debate, Dean instantly demanded terms for his brother as well. Cas noticed that Sam’s ears perked up, and his fingers stopped typing on the keys when this happened. When Dean was done, he stood in front of Cas with his arms crossed proudly. Cas stared at him with a bemused grin, before looking to Sam.

The younger Winchester nodded, before he spoke his mind. Turns out, Sam was not as opposed to having a place to settle down. He liked the idea of having a home base, and a place to go between hunts. Though, he did not say it out loud, Cas knew that the idea of having a stable place to explore the new aspects of their relationships was important to him. Hunting was also important to him. He was more rational about it then his brother had been, who had spent the whole morning yelling without giving a reasonable argument. Sam had a valid point. Hunting was the only thing that he and Dean knew how to do. It was not something they could give up cold turkey.  Diplomatically, Sam tackled an issue that his brother could only yell about. His requests were reasonable and well thought out.

Thankfully, after Dean heard Sam’s more toned down version he was calmer. Together, the three of them reached an agreement. Cas could start looking for a place for them to settle down, and when the day came that he found that place they would not ask question of how Cas obtained the property. Cas would also not intervene with the boy’s need to hunt, unless either one of them was compromised by their little boy mindsets. 

The subject fell dead for a few more days. Until Cas informed them that the house had been purchased. As predicted, Dean went off the deep end again. Sammy, who had been little at the time, pulled his knees up to his chest in the backseat of the Impala. Neither one of them had been prepared for it to happen so fast, but the truth of the matter was that Cas had his eye on the perfect place before he had even mentioned it to the boys. Dean called him out on it, as well as a string of dirty words that little Sammy covered his ears for.

Dean had to keep his end of the bargain though, and though the displeasure was clear on his face he went along with it. Once Dean was no longer screaming obscenities, Sam joined in the conversation. He curiously asked Cas about the new house. Smiling, the angel was eager to tell him.

It was four bedroom farmhouse located in rural Oklahoma. The amount of rooms was ideal for what Castiel had planned, but it was the location of the house that had mattered the most when Cas selected this piece of real-estate. Dean and Sam Winchester were not exactly cut out for suburbia America, and they needed their privacy. Cas had thought about a house in the suburbs, but the thought of a soccer mom screeching when Dean carried in his arsenal quickly changed his mind. Even more important, Oklahoma was a central location in the middle of the country, and Cas felt much better with the boys not having to drive cross-country anymore.

Dean grunted his approval at Cas’ criteria, but refused to make a verbal verdict until he saw the place. It only took one plea and whine from Sammy before Dean turned the Impala in the direction of Cherokee Country, Oklahoma.

That was two weeks earlier, and it took only two days before Dean expressed affection for their new home. That was after he had put devil’s traps at every door, hex bags in every room, symbols on the windows, and jars of holy water under every bed. When Dean felt that the house was reasonably safe he was able to put his feet up—literally.  He kicked back on the couch with little Sammy close to him. Together they read a book and he tucked him into bed.  

Cas approved of the new situation, and the boys seemed to be adjusting well too. Everything was going swimmingly… until they took a Rugaru hunt in southern Alabama. It was the hunt that changed their lives, especially Sam’s.

* * *

 

“You sure you got this Sam?”

Sam rolled his eyes at the cell phone that was up to his ear. They had been on the hunt for two days and Dean was still questioning his headspace. “I’m fine, I can question a witness,” Sam answered, forcing a chuckle. “Besides, we need to narrow down which one of these sisters is chowing down on people.”

“But you’re sure you-

Sammy interrupted him. “I’m fine Dean, Bobby is with me! I…”

Bobby Singer rolled his eyes and gave a huff before he pried the cell phone from Sam’s fingers. “Shut your mouth,” he ordered gruffly. “You worry about yourself, and let me and your brother handle this. You outside that girl’s house?”

“Yeah Bobby,” Dean licked his fingers after he had shoved the last piece of his bacon cheeseburger in his mouth. “Waiting for the go ahead from you and Sammy.”

“Good, now stop hassling Sam and keep an eye out,” Bobby grunted before he hung up the phone.

Dean made a face at the phone before he pulled the final treasure out the bag on the passenger side of the seat. A slice of pie. “Oh come to Papa…” He licked his lips.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into that boy,” Bobby was saying at they exited the car and approached the house. “You can handle yer own.”

“A lot of things have happened, Bobby,” Sam told him as vaguely as he could. He could not exactly explain to Bobby that the last hunt they went on he had almost died because he spent time pretending to be a little boy.

Bobby never asked questions, he just shrugged his shoulders before he reached in the pocket of his coat for his FBI badge. Sammy followed his example and gave his suit one final smooth down before ringing the doorbell.

“Ms. Killington, I’m Detective Hunter and this is my partner Detective Jones.” Like clockwork the held up their badges, and the doe-eyed women looked them over. “We’re here to ask some questions about the death of your husband, Daniel.”

She pulled her robe tighter around her body before she opened the door for them to come in.

She led them to a sitting room that was dimly lit only by the half open curtains. She opened them all the way before she shut off her televisions, which had been on one of those annoying shopping network channels. Sam noticed the untidy state of her home, and the fact that she had not removed pictures of her and her husband from the wall. Sam was trying to intake all the clues quickly. The women could be their suspect or she could be in true grieving for her deceased husband.  He would only be able to tell after he questioned here.

“We’re sorry about your loss, Ms. Killington,” Sam offered kindly.

“Me too,” she started sobbing into a handkerchief.

Bobby and Sam exchanged looks at her sudden dramatics; Sam shuffled before speaking, “So it came as a surprise to you?”

“Yes, of course!” She shouted, fixing them with a crazy look. “I woke up one morning and he was beside me in the bed! Dead! We were both covered in blood!” She sobbed and blew her nose. “I don’t even know what happened!”

And that was exactly how they continued for the next twenty minutes; the lady crying and sobbing with Bobby and Sam treading on eggshells to ask questions.

“So,” Boddy swallowed awkwardly. “You’re saying that you blacked out? And ya did it several nights before your husband died?”

“Yes… I wish I knew what was going on,” she sobbed and blew her nose again. “Can I tell you something?” She did not wait for them to answer. “I think I did it! What if I killed my husband?! I think I’m crazy!”

Sam cleared his throat. “Well… um…” He looked around searching for the words. “We’re not sure who killed him yet, but…” Beside him, Bobby stood up and Sam followed suit. “But we’ll let you know.”

“Oooookay.” She was about to shake his hand, but Sam looked down at the snotty hand with a cringe. She seemed not to notice and took his hand anyway, shaking it vigorously. Sam wiped his hand on his pants suit as they headed to the door, Bobby ducked out before she could grab his hand. Lucky bastard.

Bobby and Sam rushed out of there and to their car. Sam started searching through the glove compartment and his bags for hand sanitizer, while Bobby was losing himself in laughter.

“Stop laughing,” Sam ordered, finding his hand sanitizer and applying it to his hand in a copious amount. “It’s her. We have to kill her.”

The older man silenced quickly, and returned to the familiar gruff demeanor that Sam was used too.  “Better call your brother then.”

Sam was already pulling out his cell phone.

“Yeah,” Dean said into his phone.

“It’s her, you’re in the clear,” Sam said quickly into the phone. “Get over here, we need the torch.”

“On my way,” Dean was already putting the car into reverse, but he paused for a moment. “You sure you are okay, Sammy?”

“Jesus Christ, Dean,” Sam yelled into the phone. “I’m fine… I can do an integration. Stop fucking asking.” 

“Well, you sure its her?” Dean questioned, still worried about Sam’s mental state and ability.

Sam sighed loudly, his fingers massaging the bridge of his nose. “Yes, I’m sure… she had the bracelet, the same one that matches the indentation on the body. I noticed it a few minutes after we started questioning her, we would have left sooner but-

Before Sam could finish something crashed through his window on the other line. He heard Dean being dragging him out. The phone dropped to the floor, there was a crash as the car rolled forward into the mailbox, but then there was silence.

“DEAN! DEAN!”

Bobby did not need telling twice—he did not even need telling once—he had already slammed the car into drive and was speeding towards where Dean had been parked. Things passed in a blur for Sammy after that. Bobby drove at least 30 miles over the speed limit to get to Dean, and all Sam could do was blame himself. He pinned the wrong suspect, and made Dean vulnerable for ten seconds. Ten seconds was all that it took for the monster to take advantage of his brother. He could be hurt or even Dead, and it was all because of him.

Silently, in his head, he prayed to Cas. _Castiel, go to Dean. Save him. Something went wrong._

He knew that Cas answered him, he was not sure how he knew, but he just did. Having Cas with Dean made Sam feel more secure that Dean may not be dead, but it did not erase his guilt.

“Bobby…” Sam urged his knee bouncing.

“Can’t go any faster, son!” Bobby shouted.

Sam’s fist bawled up and he punched at the dashboard of the car. Bobby glanced over at him, but kept his mouth shut. Sam saw what was happening in the distance, and his stomach tightened in knots. In the dusk light he saw Castiel setting fire to the Rugaru. Dean was a crumpled mess on the ground beside the Impala; as they got closer Sam saw the pool of blood that Dean was lying in. He jumped from the car before Bobby even stopped.

“Dean! Dean!”

Sam rushed to his brother’s side, but Cas intercepted him.  “Patience, Sam. He is not dead.”

Sam was fighting Castiel to get to Dean. Bobby rushed past both of them to finish disposing of the Rugaru.

“Samuel,” Cas spoke in a deadly tone, and Sam stopped struggling. “Stand right here. I need to go to your brother.”

Sam’s chin was shaking and his eyes were pouring tears, but he managed to stand back as the angel kneeled beside the lifeless Dean. Castiel pressed one hand onto Dean’s pale cheek and another on his bloody chest. Within seconds, Dean was moaning as he twisted on the ground.

“Dean.”

Castiel nodded, giving Sam permission to join them. Sam fell to his knees beside his brother. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This is my fault.”

“Shut your cakehole,” Dean managed to mutter, running a hand down his face. “Anyone could have made that mistake.”

“But we told you that it was the other sister,” Sam argued. He reached up to wipe the tears off his cheeks.

“It is the other sister,” Bobby joined them. He was holding up a charm bracelet, one that Ms. Killington had been wearing. The same one that had traced back to the scene of the first crime. The same bracelet that had given off Ms. Killington about ten minutes into her sobbing fits. “It is both of them.”

“Both of them? Two?” Sammy said in disbelief.

“Yeah, you dumbass,” Dean was speaking as he used Sam as a prop to stand on his feet. “So stop with the guilt, you did your job.”

“But I-

“Cas,” Dean interrupted him, looking to his angel. “Bobby and I will handle the other sister, you want to deal with this?”

Cas nodded as he put a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I want to stay with Dean,” Sam said in voice that was all to telling of the mindset that Sammy was slipping into.

“Not an option,” Dean said quickly, turning to the Impala with a frown. “That bitch broke my window.”

“Dean…” Sam was moving to stand; he took a step towards his brother.

“Sammy,” Dean said quickly. “I promise, I’m okay. Go with Cas.” It was an order, and it made Sam take that step back and away from Dean. Cas was there to catch him.

Dean sighed, his jaw clenched and he ran fingers through his bloody hair. “Bobby, can you give us a minute?”

Bobby snorted, it was clear he was trying to figure out what the hell was going on between the three of them. Finally, you could see the resolution in his face that he just did not give a damn, and he moved back to his car.

“Sammy,” Dean started.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Sammy cried into his hands, Cas had wrapped an arm around his broad, shaking shoulders.

 “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, buddy,” Dean’s voice softened naturally as he reached out to touch Sam’s tear stained cheek. “Not your fault. Daddy Cas is going to take you home, okay?”

“But you need me,” Sam objected quickly. He sounded panicked.

“You know the rules,” Dean reminded him. “No hunting when you’re little.”

“But… I could be big again,” Sam tried to argue, but they all knew that it was not true.  Cas grinned and Dean half chuckled at their little boy’s optimism.

“Bobby and I will be fine,” Dean promised him again, he was still stroking Sammy’s cheek with his thumb and Sammy leaned into his hand desperate to feel his touch.. “Let Daddy take you home. You need to be little and you need to be reminded that sometimes accidents happen, okay? It’s no big deal.”

Sam realized that he was not going to convince Dean to allow him to stay. He turned into Cas’s chest to cry, Cas protectively wrapped his arms around Sam and kissed the top of his head.

“I’ll be a few days,” Dean said to Sam’s back. Cas nodded. “I’ll call you later tonight. Love you, Sammy.”

Sammy was wiping snot onto Cas’s trench coat. “Luv you,” he mumbled into the familiar material. Dean watched them go, shaking his head with a frown.

“My poor baby…” He reached over to pet the Impala. “Papa will fix you right up.”

* * *

 

Cas fluttered onto the front porch of their new home with Sam still wrapped around him. He managed to get through the front door with the crying boy. He maneuvered into the foyer, kicked the door closed, and pried Sam’s arms off of him.

“Alright, little boy,” Cas began, he navigated Sam towards the stairs. “You sit right there on your step and calm down.”

“Naughty step?” Sam stuttered in disbelief, looking at Cas with his teary puppy dog eyes.

“No, baby boy,” Cas reassured him and he joined Sam on the stairs, letting the boy put his head into his lap. “You and I are just going to take a moment to cool off so I know you are able to listen.”

“K.”

Sammy held onto Cas for several more long moments. His mind lost in madness. Seeing Dean on the ground, the breif second that he thought his brother was dead, and the relief when he saw him move again. He felt Cas petting his head, but all he could remember was Dean. Dean’s face. Dean’s words. Dean. Dean. Daddy. He had really messed up this time. Daddy would be so mad at him. He did not want Daddy to stay there by himself, Sammy wanted to stay with him or for him to come home. He wanted to cuddle up with his Daddy because he had almost died. Sam was scared. What if Daddy had died? It would have been all his fault.

He tried to remember what Daddy had said to him before they had left. _It was not his fault._ He repeated it in his head over and over again. _Not his fault_. _Accidents happen_. He had heard that before, once from Daddy Cas. The two situations were so different, but they were so alike in so many ways. Daddy had said it to him the night he was sick and he had wet himself. _It’s okay, little boys have accidents._ Accidents. Accidents. Accidents.

 _Accidents are okay. It’s okay to have accidents. It’s okay to mess up. I’m human_.

“What are you thinking, Sammy?” Cas prodded now that the boy was not crying. It was clear that Sammy was lost in his thoughts, and it was important to make sure that the voices in his head were not leading him astray.

“Daddy…” Sam reached up to wipe his tears. “I almost killed Dean.”

“No, buddy,” Cas told him firmly; he used the corner of his sleeve to wipe Sam’s face. “It was an accident. Accidents are okay, they happen. We clean them up and move on.”

There were those words again. It was okay to have an accident. It was okay. Okay. The last time there had been an accident had been THAT night. The night with all the ugly voices and the nightmare where he had accidently wet himself.

He recalled how scared he had been at first when he woke up and felt the wetness between his legs. He had panicked and run to the bathroom to take off his pull-up and throw it aside. Tears had been sliding down his face in horror and disgust. As he sat there and looked at his discarded pull-up and sobbed on the bathroom floor, he started to realize that the pull-up had saved him. There was no mess to clean up, and if he wanted too he could hide this from Cas all together, but… he did not want too. It felt so strange, so strange and so wonderful at the same time. He felt wonderful because for the first time in his life, an accident that he had caused had avoided making a huge mess. All because of the pull-up between his legs. The strangeness was in the comfort that Sammy had found in that. Knowing that if he had an accident again, that the pull-up was there to keep him from fucking things up, and it gave him the feeling of security and comfort.

Tonight, he had fucked everything up and there was nothing that could fix it. Daddys’ said they were not mad, but he was mad enough for both of them. Why was he always making mistakes? He wished he could do something right for once instead of fucking everything up.  A thought crossed his mind. The pull-up had helped. It had offered him comfort and safety, and nothing bad had happened. Maybe the pull-up could help now. Well at least he could pretend that it made him feel better.

“Daddy?” Sammy finally said, still clutching onto Cas’ arm as they sat side by side on the steps. “Can I…have my pull-ups?”

Cas smiled as he brushed Sam’s hair from his face. “Just in case?”

“Because accidents are okay,” Sammy repeated firmly. “And just in case, because I don’t have those kind of accidents.”

Cas chuckled at his adamant voice, patting the boy’s cheek. “Of course you can, little one,” he replied. “Will that help you feel better?”

Sammy’s brunette head bobbed up and down. Cas helped him stand, and they walked up the steps to Sammy’s room. Yes, it was Sammy’s room and not Sam’s. Thanks to Cas, he had two rooms. His adult room, that was simple and plain save his bed, bookshelf, and desk. Then there was the room for Sammy. That particular room was themed as it would be for a little boy, and that was one of the things that made it so special. When Cas had asked him how he wanted his room to be decorated, he had been watching Captain Jack Sparrow on TV, so his natural response was, “Pirates, Daddy, Pirates!” Cas, being the devoted Daddy that he was made Sam’s demand reality. The walls were decorated with pirate themed posters, flags, a map, and the toy box was a treasure chest labeled _Sammy’s Treasure. Keepout_ ,. The bed in the far corner of the room was an extra long twin, long enough where Sam’s legs did not hang off. The bedspread was black with a skull and crossbones in the middle, underneath were soft, flannel sheets with the pattern of a treasure map. Along the side was a railing with mesh netting, which he had put on the bed to reinforce to Sammy that this was a little boy bed. Cas was proud of the room, and Sammy had never complained.

Sam sat down on his pirate bed, and took his dragon into his hands to cuddle him. He watched as Cas went to his dresser to get the things that they needed.

Cas approached him with a pair of his pajama’s and the pull-up. Sammy stared at it for a long moment hoping that it would provide the comfort that he sought.

Cas was kneeling in front of him, untying each of his shoes and removing them one at a time.  Sammy bit his lip as he watched Cas remove his socks, and despite his mood he managed a giggle when Cas pulled at his exposed toes.

“Lay back, Sammy,” Cas instructed gently as he stood up.

Sammy obeyed and let his legs hang off the edge of the bed and his back up against the soft bedspread. As Daddy leaned over him he began to undo his pants, and Sammy held his dragon above his head and made it fly around. He felt the button of his jean’s pop and the vibration of the zipper as it went down. Without being told, Sam lifted his hips so that Cas could slide his pants over his bottom and down his legs. Cas had hooked his fingers into the hem of his underwear too and he pulled both the pants and the briefs down in one expert swoop, leaving Sam lying on the bed naked from the waste down. He did not seem to mind, he was still playing with his dragon and making whooshing sounds with his mouth as it flew back in forth in his hands.

“Did you name your dragon, baby?” Cas asked as he took the pull-up in his hands and stretched it.

“Yes,” Sammy answered simply.

Cas inserted one foot and then the other before he worked it up Sam’s legs. “Are you going to tell Daddy?”

Sammy raised his hips again for the pull-up to slide into place with Cas letting go of the waistband with a tiny snap. “I sorda named it after me.”

“So you named him Sammy?” Cas inquired reaching for the pajama pants.

“No. Samuel.”

“Oh?” Cas was repeating the exact same movements with the pants and he slid them up and over Sam’s lifted hips.

“Samuel is his in trouble name, like that is my in trouble name,” Sam explained. He took Cas’ hand to help him sit up and then dropped the dragon momentarily so that Cas could peel off his shirt. “His real name is Colt. Samuel Colt Winchester.”

Cas chuckled as he lifted the shirt off Sam and tossed it aside. “Colt the dragon,” Cas repeated with an approving nod. “I like it.”

“Colt likes it too,” Sam told him in a matter of fact tone. He was holding up his arms for Cas to put a matching clean t-shirt on him.

“Its not bedtime yet,” Sam informed him pointedly.

“I know,” Cas was offering his hand one more time. Sam put Colt’s head on the nearby pillow before taking Daddy’s hand to stand. “I just want you to be comfortable. Should we go get dinner?”

“Mmhmm,” Sam replied, not letting go of Cas’ hand as they headed towards the doorway. Sam sighed in his head as he felt the familiar feeling of padding between his legs and the small rustling sound that the pull-up made as he walked. It was like a wave of relief had fallen over him, and he felt instantly at piece, the early mistake with Dean momentarily forgotten. His thoughts kept traveling back to the night of his first potty accident and the memories he had recalled on the stairs. For some reason, he felt himself wanting to have another accident. Because this would be an accident that could be controlled and that was exactly what the pull-up was for. This would not a big accident, not like Dean almost dying, because that was a big accident and that made him a bad boy. He had his pull-up and he could have as many accidents as he wanted, and still be Daddy’s good boy. He wanted to experiment with the idea more, wanted to feel the comfort wash over him again as he let control of everything and the pull-up was there to make sure there was no mess to deal with it. There were no words to explain, and frankly, he was too scared to even try to put into words for Cas.

“Sammy…”

How could he actually use the pull-up? The comfort was nice. The safety net was nice. The being little and taken care off was nice. But how do you take that dive off the cliff and try? It was different on that one night, where he had awoken to already having the accident. If he wanted to use his pull-up, he would have to let go of one of his last bits of control. That part was scary… it did not matter if Daddy said that its okay and little boys have accidents. It was still scary.

“Sammy…”

Scary. Why was this so scary? He had no problem with all the other little boy things. It was only this. Admitting that he wanted to use his pull-up. Admitting that he wanted to give up control of that too, and have Cas take care of it. Scary.

“Samuel.” Cas was finally calling to his little boy in a stern tone. They had made it all the way to the kitchen with Sam ignoring him.

Sam was snapped out of his thoughts. “Yes, Daddy?”

Cas fixed him with a look, his head cocked to the side in curiosity of what was going through Sam’s head, but he let it go for now. “I asked you what you would like for dinner?”

“Oh.” Sam tried to think if anything sounded appealing, but he was still lost in the thought surrounding the pull-up. In fact, his stomach was in knots and nothing sounded good. “Nothing.”

“Sammy,” Cas said shaking his head. “You have to eat something. There are plenty of things here, or I can order in for you?”

“No…” Sammy slumped down in the kitchen chair, before he put his folded arms on the table and rested his chin on them.

“Samuel,” Cas leaned back on the cabinet and crossed his arms. “Are you still upset about earlier or is something else bothering you?”

Sam did not answer verbally, just shook his head and sighed. Cas echoed his sigh, unhappy that Sammy did not trust him with whatever was consuming his thoughts. “Either way, you do not have the option to skip dinner,” Cas told him as he turned to the cabinet. “You should choose something or I will choose for you.”

Sam knew that was not always a pleasant option. So with another loud huff he made a decision, “Can we order a Chicken Caesar Salad?”

Only his little boy Sammy could want a salad and still be totally in little boy headspace. “I do not think that anyone delivers salads,” Cas replied. “I can go out and get you one, but you must behave yourself while I am gone.”

“I will,” Sammy promised, though he did not sound to sincere.

“Sammy,” Cas finally said, sliding into the seat across from him. “I have already told you, stop blaming yourself. Accidents happen. Dean is okay. No one is mad at you, stop being mad at yourself.”

Of, course Daddy would think that his mental state was still over Dean. Partly, it was, but mostly he was thinking about accidents, and hearing Daddy say that accidents were okay again did not help. He squirmed in his chair, remembering that he had on his safety net. It was there, and it was okay. If he wanted too, he could have another accident and he would still be a good boy.

“Can I have something to drink?”

Maybe that would help. Maybe if he drank a lot and held it for a really, really long time. He could have his accident. At least… he could try.

Another sigh from Cas as he got up from the table to get Sam his request. He went to the cabinet first to get one of Sam’s cups, a blue one with baseballs and bats on it, it had a pop up straw and spill proof lid. Going to the fridge he peered in. “We have sour milk, apple juice, beer, and soda,” Cas told him with a grin. “I’m assuming that you will want juice, because you are not allowed beer or soda. Unless you have acquired a taste for sour milk?”

Sam scrunched up his face at the thought Daddy putting sour milk in his cup. “No, juice please.”

Cas had already reached for juice. He placed the full cup in front of Sammy who took it into his big hands and began to drink. “I will go get your salad, do you want to sit at the table and wait or go into the living room?” 

“Living room,” Sammy answered quietly.

He followed Daddy into the living room and stood patiently while he watched Cas take a folded blanket off the back of the couch and spread it on the floor. He went to a basket in the corner of the room and took some of Sam’s favorite little boy toys out; a coloring book with a box of crayons, a bag of miniature dinosaur figurines, and a few of Sammy’s favorite books. Laying them out on the blanket, he went to turn on a movie for him. “You know where to be,” he reminded him gently as he navigated through the DVD player menu.

Sammy moved to sit cross-legged on the blanket, his cup in his hand. He chewed on the straw as he watched Cas turn on the movie that was already in the DVD player. _The Black Cauldron_ started playing. He was pretty sure that Dean had picked the last movie, but Sammy did not mind. He liked having a little bit of Dean with him right now. Sammy pouted as he remembered Dean and the mistake that he made.

“You know the rules,” Cas told him gently as he set the remote down. “Don’t leave the blanket unless there is an emergency. Daddy will be right back. Your phone is right here,” he put the cell phone on the coffee table next to the remote. “If something happens you can call me or Daddy.”

Sammy was nodding, but hardly paying attention. He was focused on the movie. Cas smiled at the large boy sitting in the middle of the blanket, his big, doe eyes intently watching the movie.

“Daddy?”

“Yes Sammy?”

“Can you fly upstairs and get Colt and blanket?” He turned his head away from the screen long enough to shoot that adorable, get-you-to-do-anything-for-him look. Before Sammy had time to blink Cas had returned with the two objects he had requested. The brown-headed boy took them, and spent a few quick seconds rearranging everything to his satisfaction. He tucked Colt in the crook of one elbow, but faced him so that he could watch the movie, and put the blanket in the hand that held his cup so as he drank the soft material was close to his cheek.

“Be good,” Cas told him a final time before he was gone.

Sam sucked down all the juice quickly; looking around to make sure that Cas was gone. As he watched the movie, and remembered curling up on the couch next to Dean, he sighed. Poor Dean. What a screw up this afternoon at been. _No, not a screw up._ _An accident_ , he repeated to himself for the hundredth time.  _Accidents are okay._

“Do you think I can do this, Colt?” He was looking down at his pajama pants and thinking about the pull-up between his legs. “Have an accident and still be good?”

He paused and waited for Colt to answer. “No Daddy, says its okay, he won’t be mad,” Sam drew his knees up to his chest as he talked to Colt.

“You don’t know all the mistakes I’ve made before, Colt,” Sammy said sadly as he rubbed his blanket on his cheek. “I did all these things… I trusted a demon and I started the apocalypse, I almost killed Dean… I almost killed myself, that was a bad bad spanking. All I do is make mistakes and accidents that makes me a bad boy… I just want to have an accident that is okay.”

Another moment of silence. “I know those are over and forgiven,” Sammy muttered to his dragon. “But still… they make me feel bad in my tummy.”  Sammy twisted his face up. “No… I haven’t told Daddy. I don’t think he would understand. He always tells me its okay to have accidents, but I don’t think I believe him. I’m scared.”

Another pause as the dragon ‘spoke.’

“I’m gonna drink lots of juice and hold it,” Sam told his dragon. “Then I will have an accident and that will be okay. Because…” He took a deep breath. “It’s okay.”

“What is okay?”

Sammy looked around to meet Cas’ eye forcing himself to not jump at the sound of his voice. “Nothing…” Sammy answered quickly, to quickly.

“Mmhmm,” Cas studied his youngest Winchester with a quizzical brow. “Would you like to try that again?”

Sam bit down on his lap and looked up through his untidy bangs with his big eyes. “Just that it’s okay to make mistakes,” Sammy told him half truthfully. “I was telling Colt that everyone makes mistakes and its okay.”  Sammy felt guilty for not telling the whole truth to his Daddy, but he was not ready.

Cas bought it; it was not like Sammy to directly lie to him. He moved into the kitchen, keeping a view of Sam out of the corner of his eyes as he began to take Sammy’s dinner out of the takeaway bags. The first thing he put away was the carton of milk that he had remembered to grab, he could not make his little boy a cup of warm milk before bed if all they had was sour milk.  “You told Colt about today?”

Sammy had rolled over on his stomach to watch Cas, his legs kicking back and forth in the air. “Yeah,” replied Sammy as he laid Colt down beside him in the same position. “He said the same thing you and Daddy said. Mistakes happen. Accidents happen.”

“Colt is a very intelligent dragon,” Cas acknowledge with a grin. He opened the container of salad so that he could put a plentiful helping onto Sam’s little boy plate. The plate had been Sam’s request, and Cas had been happy to purchase him the matching plate with its cutlery. Sammy’s hands had been to big to use the child’s sized spoon and fork, so Cas was setting out a normal fork down beside the cartoon decorated plate. He took out one of the packages of Caesar dressing, before pouring it over the salad and re capping it. He put it out of reach or Sam would pour the whole container over his portion and forget there was more salad left. “You may come to the kitchen, Sammy.”

Sam quickly went to his knees to stand, before he remembered to grab Colt, his blanket, and cup. He went straight towards his chair before Cas cleared his throat and pointed firmly at the sink.

“Oh yeah,” Sammy said. He put Colt on one of the empty chairs, his cup on the table with a clunk, and dropped his blanket on the floor so that he could go to wash his hands. Cas followed behind him to pick up his blanket and place it over the back of the chair, he also took the empty cup and refilled it without Sammy asking. Once Sam had dried his hands and was back at the table munching on his salad, Cas joined him.

“Bath and bedtime after this?” Cas suggested his fingers interlocking in front of his face as he watched Sammy.

“I want to wait for Daddy to call,” Sammy whined with his mouth full of roughage. Cas just fixed him with that look and he swallowed it quickly and apologized. “Sorry Daddy.”

“I know you want to stay up for him to call, but it might be very late, and you have had a hard day. Besides, we adhere to bedtimes in this house,” Cas answered.

“But Daddy…”

Cas held up a hand to silence any whining that Sam might find nesscary. “No, your bedtime is 9:30, if Daddy has not called by then, then you will have to call him in the morning.”

“Why can’t I call him before bed?” Sammy pouted into his salad.

“Because he is finishing up a hunt and he said he would call us,” Cas explained calmly. “We will not bother him.”

“But I need to talk to him!” Sam said suddenly, slamming his fork down on the table. He could not believe how unfair Daddy was being about this. Sammy needed to talk to his other Daddy.

“The only thing you need is to reconsider how you speak to me,” Cas scolded, he leaned across the table only inches away from Sam’s face with a stony glare.

“I just want to talk to Daddy on the phone,” Sam pouted as he squirmed in his chair. He wriggled out of habit when Cas used that voice, because Daddy’s voice was so stern and scary when he talked like that.  He was also squirming because the natural consequence of two cups of juice were starting to work their magic.

“I understand Sammy,” Cas reached up to pet his head. “But sometimes things do not always work out the way we want them too.”

“Mmhmm.” Sam had forgotten about his need to speak with Dean, as he twisted his backside on the chair in discomfort. Cas fixed him with a confused frown.

“I’m done!” Sam announced grabbing Colt and bolting from the table.

“Stop!”

Sam slid on the tiled floor and paused in the doorway. He shuffled from foot to foot nervously, his hips twisting in agony. “Daddy…”

“Sammy…” Cas replied evenly. “Do you have something you need to tell Daddy?”

“No,” Sam replied quickly, bouncing a little and biting his lip. “I just need to go piss.” The urgency to be in the safety of the bathroom made him slip out of his usual little boy vocabulary.

“Excuse me?” Cas stood from the table and approached the squirming boy. “Where do you need to go?”

“To…” Sammy was literally hopping up and down in front of Cas. “To the potty.”

“Better. Go.”

Sam left in a flash, leaving Cas behind. He slammed the door of the bathroom shut and slid down onto the bathroom floor with Colt in his arms. He wiped his wet eyes with Colt’s soft back. Still, he had been too scared to do it. Too scared to ask Daddy for help. He was in the bathroom hiding from the thing that he wanted most.

“Maybe if I sit here long enough,” Sam whispered to Colt. “I can still do it.”

He tried, but he knew if he sat there for to long Daddy would knock on the door to check on him. The burning feeling of needing to release his bladder was almost painful now, and nothing he could think of would push him over the edge. Sighing in defeat he whisked down his pants and pull-up—a tiny whimper passing over his lips—before he used the toilet.  He pulled them back up slowly; savoring the way the padded material held him tightly and clung closely to his cheeks.

Sam was smart enough to splash his face with water to rinse away the tears after he looked at himself in the mirror. He looked about as dreadful as he felt. His dimpled cheeks sagged sadly and his upper lip puffed out despite his best attempts to gain control of his pout. Once again, Sam Winchester had been defeated by fear. He sighed before putting his face under the cool water one more time and drying off.

Cas was waiting for him outside the bathroom door, his arms crossed across his chest. “Everything okay?” It was not a really a question, and Sam knew that. Cas was demanding for an explanation, but since he was not ready to give it to him yet, all he could produce was a ragged shrug.

“Samuel,” Cas hissed, raising a hand to massage his tired brow. “Your lack of honesty with me is frustrating. I will not push you, but I will not have a repeat the last time you failed to be honest with me. I will ask you one question, and then I will wait for you to approach me with whatever it is that is bothering you.”

Sam nodded, biting down on his lip in anticipation of the question. He begged and pleaded in his head that it was not about the pull-ups. It was easy for him to hide things by not telling the full truth, it was not easy for him to look Cas in the face and lie. So depending on the question, this could be the end all moment.

“Are you hearing the voices again Sam?”

Sam thought he would be relieved by the question, because he did not have to lie, but the only thing that he felt was guilt. Guilt because he was going to answer the question, and then he would go on pretending that nothing was wrong when that was not the case. Everything was wrong. Everything was wrong with what he wanted to do, and it scared him even more to think about Cas’ response to his desire.

“No Daddy.” Sammy shook his head, and Cas, with his chin tilted and his eyebrow quirked, studied his facial expression for honesty. Stepping forward, he rested a palm on Sam’s check, and when Sam flinched at his touch, he knew that Samuel was not being completely honest about everything.

“You know I could reach into your mind and read your thoughts,” Cas reminded him, not moving his hand. Sam’s stomach churned and for a moment he thought he might be sick at the thought of Cas in his head. There was so much there that he never wanted his Daddys to see. “I respect my boys too much to do that against their will, but…” His tone changed; there was a growl looming deep in the back of his throat. “If you continue to hide from me, I will have no other choice. Do you understand?”

“Tomorrow.” Sam gasped suddenly. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.” It was his only defense, otherwise, he would be forced to tell Daddy exactly what he wanted, why he wanted it, and face all of his fears. He wasn’t ready. Not yet. Blurting that out gave him more time… a little more time.

Cas opened his mouth to say something, but there was a buzzing sound coming from his pocket. “Tomorrow, little boy.” It was a threat and a promise. They would be discussing it on Cas’ terms tomorrow, whether Sam wanted to or not.

“Hello Dean.”

Sam would have been more excited to know that Daddy had called if he was not standing in front of his Daddy like a scolded little boy. He did not move, Daddy had not given him permission to leave yet, so he shuffled nervously and cuddled Colt as he listened to the conversation.

“I would not say that Sammy is well,” Cas said into the receiver. “He is struggling, I assume with the mistake from tonight, but he refused to tell me. Mmhmm. Yes, I just discussed that with him and I have given him until tomorrow to talk to me.”

Sam huffed and stomped his little foot nervously. “Stop talking about me like I’m not standing right here!”

Cas was an expert, he listened to Dean speaking as he took Sam by the upper arm and pulled him towards the staircase.  Dean would not even know that anything was going on. “Well I could do that, but I generally do not spank information out of my boys.” Cas was not even speaking to him; all he did was point to the third step from the bottom with his finger. Sam plopped down with a frown, knowing not push Daddy.

Cas chuckled at whatever Dean said. “You are an exception, brat.”

Sammy rolled his eyes. Normally he would not mind to hear them flirting. Their relationship comforted him, and it made him happy to see both of them happy with each other. Right now, he was just angry with himself for not being able to follow through with he wanted, and that he would have to tell Daddy within the next 24 hours.

“He’s here,” Cas replied to the phone. “I do not know if you want to talk to him. He is sitting on his step pouting. Yes, I told you he was not well. Alright…” Cas handed the phone to Sammy. Sam did not say anything once the phone had been passed to him, but Dean knew that Sam was listening to him and he broke the silence.

“Heya Sammy,” Dean said, he sounded fine, almost cheerful. Sam was relieved to hear his voice, and his pout and the anger at himself almost faded away completely.

“You get everything taken care off?” Sam asked quickly.

Cas would have ignored the question, he did not discuss hunting with little boys, but Dean was different. “Yeah, you were right, it was her too. It’s over now though.”

“But did you…

“That is enough Sam.” For a minute Sam thought he was talking to Cas and not Dean. It was a rare thing for Dean to be so firm with him. Sam pouted again out of habit.

“Are you giving your Daddy trouble?” Dean changed the subject.

“A little I guess.” Sam answered honestly, his knees knocking together nervously.

“Stop.”

That was Daddy Dean. Simple one word commands, that he expected Sammy to follow without hesitation. Sammy sighed loudly into the phone. “I’ll try.”

“No. You’ll do it,” Dean said with a no nonsense tone. “Seriously Sammy, knock it off. You don’t have anything to be freaking out about. I told you that you were right, and you didn’t make a mistake. Sh- Stuff happens.”

“I know.” But they were just words. Words that he had repeated a hundred times to Dean before to shut him up. Dean had no idea what was really torturing him, and there was nothing he could say that would make Sammy feel better. In fact, explaining his desire to Dean scared him more then the act itself. How did you explain to your big brother that you wanted to use a pull-up? You didn’t. You kept your mouth shut.

“I just wanted to let you know that I was alright so you would stop worrying,” Dean said, suddenly sounding gentler. “I’m staying here tonight, I will go get the window replaced in the car in the morning then I will head that way. I will see you in a few days. Okay Sammy?”

“K.” Sammy did not even wait for parting word, he handed the phone back to Cas, who took it from the frown.

“Stay right there,” Cas muttered with his hand over the phone, and then he put it up to his ear and moved into the other room. Sam strained to hear what they were discussing, but Cas was stealthy enough to shut the door behind him. They were probably talking about him, and that made Sammy kick his foot. Pulling Colt closer to his body, he hugged the dragon to his chest.

Their conversation ended quickly and Cas was back in front of him, still looking unimpressed. “Are you finished? Or would you like to sit on your naughty step until bedtime?”

Sam was not finished, he had not even started, but for the moment he was finished pushing Cas’ buttons. He could fume at himself later.

“I’m done, Daddy.”

Cas’ facial expression softened as he took Sam into his arms. “Whatever it is, I know it must be hard for you,” Cas was stroking his head as he spoke soothingly to him. “You can always tell Daddy, do not forget that.”

Sam almost lost it again, the tears stinging his eyes. He managed to hold his composure. “I know Daddy,” he whispered in to Cas’ shoulder. “We can go finish the movie together?”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Cas caved. He had every intention of putting Sam in the bathtub and then straight to bed, but he knew that whatever was bothering Sammy needed to be coaxed out of him with equal amounts of firmness and cuddles.

“Let’s go.” He used his angelic powers to lift Sam into his arms. Sam had stopped protesting at being carried; he just placed his arms around Cas’ neck and held on with Colt dangling down Cas’ back.

Sam sat on Cas’ lap for the rest of the movie, curled up into a ball as small as he could make his big body go. He temporarily forgot about the issues surrounding the pull-up and fell into the moment that he and Cas were sharing. One thing that Cas always did well was cuddles. Sammy felt so safe and loved with Daddy’s arms wrapped around him to keep him pressed close to his body. Sometimes Sam fell asleep just listening to the sounds that Cas’ vessel made; the evened breathing and the steady beat of the human heart. Since Cas never slept, he had ample amount of time to hold onto a sleeping Sammy.

The movie ended and Sam did not move, Cas knew the boy was not sleeping, but he also kept still throughout the rolling credits every few seconds pressing a kiss on top of Sam’s hair. When the movie ended and the menu started playing, Cas patted Sam’s backside affectingly. “Up you get, little one. It’s bath time. Then bed.”

“Not sleepy.” It was almost as if the words slipped out of his lips by default. They both knew that it was not true. Sam’s eyes were heavy and he had been yawning through the end of the movie.

Cas wiggled his way out from underneath Sammy before he stood up and stretched his arms. “Come on baby boy, up.”

Sam refused to stand up, he stayed on the couch in his little ball with Colt underneath his arm. Cas smiled before he knelt down as worked his arms between Sam and the couch. With a grunt, he lifted him up and cradled him close to his chest. Sammy reached up to rub his eyes. Cas decided that they would skip the bath.

“Daddy?” Sammy asked as he was laid in his bed. Cas was pulling back the sheets and the blanket so that Sammy could wiggle underneath.

“Yes, baby?”

“I know that I’m not supposed to feel bad about today,” Sammy muttered as he turned on his side to get comfortable. “But I feel like a bad boy. I always feel like a bad boy when I make a mistake.”

Cas cringed at Sam’s words, he hated to hear him so down on himself.  He reached forward and touched Sam’s cheek. “Sammy, you are not a bad boy,” Cas promised him. “You did not intentionally hurt your Daddy, so you are not bad.”

“But I FEEL that way,” Sam insisted. “And you can’t wipe away feelings.”

“Is there anyway we can make you feel like a good boy again?” Cas inquired. The boy was right, there was nothing that he could to make Sammy change his feelings until he was ready. Cas could reassure him, he could spank him, he could make Sam repeat words for hours, but they were only words until Sam meant them in his heart.

“Maybe,” Sammy muttered tiredly, thinking about the pull-up and his desire to have an accident and be a good boy. “Tomorrow…”

Cas sighed. He really wanted to push Sammy, but the little boy was falling asleep. “Fine, tomorrow then.” Cas pulled the covers up to his neck.  He went to turn off the light; only the little pirate night light glowed in the corner.

“Daddy?”

“Yes Sammy?”

“I need my milk.”

Of course he did.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Oh. What's this? You mean that Emmy finally got around to finishing Chapter 2? Don't worry ladies and gentlemen, Chapter 3 will not be such a long wait. Kelly and I are already working on it.  
> 2\. I am not pleased with this chapter, I don't think Kelly is either, but she is to kind about it ;). Stacy says it is fine.... but.... I do not know. It just does not flow well or feel like what I have written in the past. Apologies, and thank you so much for your patience. Mine and Kelly's life is a little crazy hectic right now and we do not have the time and energy to dedicate like we might want too. Keep your fingers crossed, because that should all change soon.  
> 3\. Thank you for your continued support and love of this universe. Seriously, I think we have the best readers and followers out there. We have formed our own little SSV family and it is awesome. If you do not follow our blog, you are really missing out, you can find it [here](http://swingsetverse.tumblr.com/). It's almost always active, even when we are not updating the main story. There are ficlets, snippets, and we answer questions. It has become a safe and fun place for most of our readers. You do not have to have a tumblr to participate, you can browse as much as you want on anonymous, but drop us a message and let us know that you're there!! PS- You really want to go check out the ficlets... they are not going to be posted on A03, so if you want more of the SSV universe... you have to go there.   
> 4\. Thank you to Kelly and her adorable self for putting up with me. She is like that adorable little puppy that is so cute that you just want to ring their neck and then cuddle them. I don't know why. >.> But seriously... your big sister is so proud of you.   
> 5\. Thank you Stacy for also putting up with me. I'm like HER adorable little puppy that is so cute that she just wants to strangle. Hehe. Thank you for beta reading this for me. Thank you for kicking my ass. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for watching movies with me. Thank you for just being awesome sunshine. Bug luvs you! (Oh and a shameless plug... if you like age play... go read our Sherlock fics. They are not as in depth as SSV, but they are fun and they are adorable)   
> 6\. Our usually warnings apply. Don't own the SPN characters. Age play is not pedophila. Go back and see the warning labels if you have forgotten.  
> 7\. Without further ado.... ENJOY!

* * *

 

 

Sam blinked as he started to wake up. The curtains were drawn shut sometime in the middle of the night to block out the morning sun, probably Daddy wanting him to sleep in. 

That took him by surprise, referring to Cas as Daddy first thing in the morning. Typically, a good nights rest took both him and Dean out of little boy headspace, and they would have to work on putting themselves back. So it was strange to already feel so little.  He was groggy, and he had to pee. Mornings were really miserable for little boys.  He wanted Colt and wanted to lie in his bed a while longer to enjoy the warmth and the comfy mattress.

Colt had gone astray in the middle of the night and Sam gathered him close to his chest again. He found his blanket and cuddled it up to his cheek, comforted by its softness and its smell. Sammy snuggled deeper into his bed, and the slight wiggle made his legs rub against the familiar material of the pull-up. The memories and desires of yesterday’s events flooded through his mind and he whimpered. It reminded him that he had to pee, and the quick idea to just let go in his pull up flashed through his mind. He whimpered in fear, cuddling the stuffed dragon close for comfort.

He had prayed that the Rugaru accident with Dean yesterday had just been a nightmare and he had hoped that sleep would rid him of the strange feelings about using his pull-up. With the pain caused by a full, early morning bladder it would be easy to let it all go and have an accident.

Sam closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and focused on the task at hand. He imagined rivers, waterfalls, and lakes busting through a dam, but still nothing happened. Sam clamped down on his bottom lip until he tasted blood, there were already tears streaming his cheeks onto his pillow. Why was this so hard?

He wiggled his hips, hoping that it would help, but that only made it worse.  Sam squeezed his legs together to contain the urge in his crotch. He needed to release the burning pressure and he needed to do it soon. The pull-up was right there. Closing his eyes, he tried to remember what it felt like to use his pull up. Was it as comforting as he thought it would be?

The only reference that he had was the night he had that nightmare. That was not a pleasant memory, it was scary and by the time he had calmed down enough to remember that he had used his pull up, it had been cold and sticky. It was not supposed to feel like that… was it?

Sam reached over to the nightstand where his smart phone sat on the charger. Sam knew that phone usage was against the rules; it was only there in case of emergencies. This, in his mind, was a true emergency. Pulling up the web browser, he typed in some keywords and started to browse the multitude of sites dedicated to age play relationships.

Most of the users said that using their pull-ups or diapers was freeing. That there was an unexplainable comfort and safety, and no one could put real words to describe the feeling. He searched for tips on how to cross that final threshold and just wet yourself, but the advice all seemed to say that you just had to muster your courage and just try it. You never know if it will feel right if you don’t. They also said that it was much better with the help and support of a caregiver.

“Daddy,” he cried softly as he put his feet on the floor. “I wish I could tell you.”

But what would he tell Daddy? What words would he use to explain to Cas about his needs and desires. Would he be able to tell him that this was what he wanted in his life? Or would he pretend that it had been an actual accident and act like it would never happen again? Tossing his phone away, he flopped on his back in frustration. Why was this so hard?

Without any more hesitation, he hopped back up and started towards the bathroom. He was moving in a blur, all he could think about right now was taking away the pressure in his abdomen.  He pulled the bathroom door open, only to have it suddenly slammed shut in front of him. Cas had appeared beside him in the blink of eye and had shut the door while his eyes fixed on Sammy.

“Tell me what, little boy?”

Sammy jumped in surprise, and it almost caused him to loose control of his bladder on the spot. Sucking in breath, he quickly tried to wipe the tear from his eyes. “N-n-nothing, Daddy.”

Then Cas did something surprising. He lifted Sam into his arms before Sam could object. Sam looked up in confusion as they left the bathroom behind, descended the stairs, and moved toward the living room.

Of course Cas knew what was going on. The fact that Sammy had thought that Cas did not know was more surprising then Sammy’s actual desires. Cas had known since the moment on the steps yesterday. He had opened his connection with Sammy for fear that the boy would destroy himself with the voices of his own guilt. Instead, he had found Sammy reminiscing and speculating about what it would be like to use his pull-up. He had decided to give Sammy time to come to terms with it on his own, pressing the issue, but not hinting that he had known. Enough was enough though. Sammy was no longer going to be allowed to torment himself with this.

Cas would not say that the change in Sammy’s behavior bothered him. Sam was not the only one that browsed forums and blogs for advice on these new relationships. Cas had found out that it was common for many people who regressed as far back as Sammy did to use pull-ups or diapers on a regular basis. At one point, Cas would have shied away from such a huge step, but things were different now because his real reason for being in this relationship was first and foremost to take care of the boys. He might have been in control of their lives, but he was at their service. If Sammy needed this, then Cas would be there to provide. It was truly pleasing that Sam thought that this was a step that he wanted to take. That meant that Sammy trusted the atmosphere and the relationship enough to slip further, to try new things, and to actually be his baby boy. 

So the next few minutes were going to be rough on his little boy, but what Cas was about to do was for his own good. He covered up his approval and put on a stern face, knowing that Sammy would only be moved by firmness at this point in time. He deposited Sam on his blanket.

“You have not exactly been quiet with your thoughts, little one,” Cas explained, as he looked down at Sammy on his blanket. “You’ve been begging to use your pull-ups for their intended purposes since yesterday evening, and have been afraid to ask me. I have inquired several times about your thoughts, and you refused to tell me. That does not mean that I do not know. So… I will assist you in your inner turmoil and make the choice for you. You are not to leave the blanket, Samuel Winchester.”

Sam was kneeling on his blanket in pure shock, his eyes staring up at Castiel with a mixture of confusion and reverence. Of course, Daddy knew. Daddy knew everything. How could he expect him not too, after the last time and the voices, Daddy had been very observant and deductive about his thoughts. Cas was a man of integrity, and even though he had looked into Sam’s mind, he would always wait for Sam to come to him first. Apparently, Daddy’s patience had a limit.

The shock that Cas had figured out quickly passed as he realized what Cas was instructing him to do. That was the part that brought tears to his eyes. “Daddy…I can’t.”

“You most certainly can,” Cas answered knowingly, as he sat back on the couch, only a few feet away from where Sammy was on the blanket. “You are going to play on your blanket and watch a movie, and you are going to forget about your fear because you are so busy playing that you will have an accident. That is exactly what little boys do.”

“No, Daddy.”

This was wrong. Daddy was wrong. He couldn’t do this to him, could he? Sammy didn’t have Colt. He didn’t have his blanket, and he desperately wanted them. He also desperately wanted to move from this blanket and hide in the bathroom so he could use the toilet in peace. There was also that strange, foreign part of his brain that also wanted to just get this moment over with.

Cas appeared again; Sam had not even realized that he had disappeared. Daddy handed him his beloved dragon and blanket. Sam looked at it begrudgingly, before he knocked them out Cas’ hands. “Go away!”

Daddy just looked at the comfort objects that were now on the floor. He did not say anything, knowing that it was Sam’s fear that was causing his tantrum. Reaching forward, he placed a comforting hand on Sam’s cheek, using a thumb to brush away the big tears.

“You can do this, baby,” he whispered, as he looked down at Sam. It made Sam feel little, and he squirmed on his knees. “This is what you want.”

Sam jerked his cheek away and fixed Daddy with a death glare. Cas sighed loudly, before he patted Sam’s head a final time. “My decision has not changed,” he informed his little boy solemnly as he went back to his seat on the sofa. “You can come sit on my lap, and we can do this together if you prefer He patted his lap invitingly.

Sam looked at Cas’ empty lap with longing. Maybe this could be easier if he got Daddy’s help. That was what the internet had said.

Sammy immediately dismissed the thought with a screaming whine. He glanced across the hallway to the bathroom as he rocked back and forth in discomfort. 

That was when Sam did one of the silliest things he’d ever done in his life. He darted for the bathroom. Maybe he wasn’t thinking clearly, actually he was positive he wasn’t thinking clearly. He wasn’t even sure what would happen when he got there. Even if he locked himself in, Cas could always get in, and there would be a spanking to follow. No, it was not his best laid plan, but all he could think about was the fear of actually using his pull-up.

Cas intercepted him easily, and showed his displeasure with three firm swats to Sammy’s backside. They barely phased him, Sammy’s mind was in fight or flight mode. Since flight had not worked, he was going to fight. He flailed his arms and kicked his legs as Cas easily carried him back towards the couch. This time, he did not place the crying boy onto his blanket. He sat down on the couch and held him tightly in his arms, whispering words of love, encouragement, and praise into his ear.

“Shhh, baby boy,” He cooed as he managed to drag Sammy into a sitting position on his lap, despite how he was struggling. “It’s alright. Daddy has you. You can do this. You want to have an accident, right? And that’s alright because it’s safe, and Daddy will take care of it.”

Sam refused to settle in Cas’ arms. Luckily, his Daddy had a tight hold on him and there was nowhere for him to go or anyway for him to hurt himself. There was too much going on for Sam to be calm. Holding his bladder made it hurt in his little boy parts and that alone would have made him cry, but his anger at Daddy was causing him just as much distress. Why would Daddy torture him this way?

“Please Daddy, please lemme go potty,” Sammy pleaded his long legs pushing against the arm of the couch as leverage. It got him no where, and he threw his head back in frustration, and he changed his tune. He started demanded things of Daddy, which was never a good thing. “LET! ME! GO!”

Sammy was rewarded for his efforts by being flipped over Cas’ lap with ease so that several strong smacks could be delivered to the seat of his pajama’s. They were not hard, nothing like Cas was capable of giving out, or that Sam was capable of taking, but they caused Sammy to wail and carry on dramatically regardless.

“Lemme go! Lemme go! Lemme go!”

Cas brought his hand down again firmly. He knew that the swats were being defused by the padded pull up. This small spanking wasn’t to punish, but more to get   
Sammy’s attention and to help ground him. It would remind him that Cas was Daddy and Sammy was little boy, and Sam needed that mental stability at the moment. He needed to focus. As intended, it subdued Sam enough for Cas to bend down and whisper to him, “Stop shouting at me, Samuel.”

Sam stopped fighting. He simply lay over Cas’ lap sobbing his little heart out. This was so terrifying. Why was Daddy spanking him when he was so scared? Why was this so scary? 

Cas could feel the fear pouring from his little one, and compassion filled him. This was what Sammy wanted and needed from him, and he wasn’t going to give up now, no matter how much Sammy cried. They would both feel better when this was over. So the angel hooked his hands under Sam’s armpits and drew him tightly to his chest. He cradled Sammy’s head with his hand and ran his finger through Sam’s long hair.

“Trust me,” Cas offered in hushed tones. “Trust Daddy.”

His free hand, which was no longer needed to restrain the thrashing boy, snaked down to Sam’s stomach. He gently rubbed and pressed on the soft skin just above his pelvis. “I know it hurts, baby, just let go. You have a pull up on and there will be no mess. Be a good little boy. You can do that right, be my good boy? I know you can.”

Cas’ words were like a liquid sedative to Sammy’s ears. Nothing was more soothing to him then sweet words of praise from his Daddy’s lips. His body relaxed out of instinct, and for the first time, so did his bladder. He surprised himself by sighing, but the relief from pressure was too much to ignore. It was followed quickly by gasp when he felt the damp warmth collecting between his legs. He could not stop what had already been started though, and as Sam filled his pull up, tears filled his eyes and he began to sob into Cas’ shirt.

It was not exactly a bad feeling, but he couldn’t stop the tears from pouring down his cheeks. He felt control leave his body along with the warm stream that flooded into his pull up. There was no fear or worry of a mess or of being in trouble for screwing up, he felt the padding soaking it up and leaving a pleasant squishy warmth between his legs. The forums had been right; there were no words in the world that he could use to explain the feeling of content and relaxation that fell over his body.

A rewarding kiss was placed onto Sam’s forward as Cas continued to offer praise to Sam. “That’s my good boy. Accidents are okay. They don’t always have to end in disaster.”

Accidents are okay. Sam repeated it over and over again. As he sat on Cas’ lap, with his pull-up wet and full, and feeling vulnerable, he began to understand why he wanted to be here in the first place. He wanted to be here because of this. He had wanted the feeling of letting go and trusting that everything would be okay. Sam enjoyed being little with Cas, part of him survived on the nurturing and the caretaking that Cas provided him. The last ten minutes had been overly traumatic, but here they were; Sam finally bending to the desire that had been haunting him and Cas was supporting him all the way. This was safety. This was happiness. This was Daddy.

Sam wiggled, and he felt the squish. There was no mess and there was no oncoming backfire from this accident. It was all okay. Everything was okay.

Cas held him for what seemed like hours. Sammy continued to cry and wipe his snot onto his shirt, and Cas wondered if he had been too harsh on his boy. Sam was physically an adult and to be forced to wet himself on the lap of another full grown adult had to make him extremely self consciousness.  It did not matter that Sammy was in a little headspace, the act was still humbling and frightening. Cas was hoping that the relief of accomplishing this hurdle would surpass the emotional distress of the act itself.

Cas had had doubts of his own. He wanted to move this into a more permanent part of his relationship. It seemed right, based on Sammy’s intense thoughts on the subject. The accident yesterday was not the first time Sammy’s mind had run wild with the idea of using his pull ups. There had been the night after the nightmare and several instances in between. This was the first time that Cas had pressured Sam to follow through, and the ending result was enough to convince Cas that this needed to happen again.

Holding Sammy tightly, he pressed reassuring kisses onto the boys sweaty brow. He almost hated himself for putting his little boy threw such torture. Dean would have been different,  he fought everything and tantrums that ended with a little boy crying over his lap were nothing new for Dean and Cas’ relationship. This was all new for Sammy. Sammy was his cuddle bug. His golden cub.  There had never been a rule in their relationship that Sammy had not desired to follow. Their relationship was built on praise, not on terms of discipline. For Sammy, even to be in the same room when Cas was being firm with Dean usually brought the little Winchester to tears. Spankings were rare, a few swats would bring Sammy to halting sobs.

The boy wanted boundaries though. He did not test the boundaries like his brother, but he needed them just the same. This part of their life would just have to be new boundaries for Sam to follow.  Cas had to accept the fact that even in his almost perfectly behaved little one, that rebellion lied just beneath the surface, and this was the week that they were going to test it. Together.

“Daddy…” Sammy muttered softly, jerking Cas from his thoughts. His body had stopped shaking and there were only tiny sniffles left over from his sobbing.

“Yes?”

“I need…” Sam hesitated, he bit down on his lip again, and it hurt. He had forgotten how hard he had bitten earlier. He could not bring himself to say the words yet. He was still in disbelief that this moment had actually happened.

Cas pressed a finger to his lips to silence and to heal the sore on his lip. “It’s okay,” he told Sammy lovingly. “I understand that this time is hard, but as we go on you will need to tell Daddy when you need to be changed.”

“Go on?” Sam questioned in disbelief. “This isn’t going to happen again…” 

“Oh Sammy,” Cas half chuckled patting Sammy’s back. “If you expect me to ignore the overwhelming feelings of joy and relief that your soul just let off, you are sorely mistaken.” He took Sam’s tear stained chin in his hands and tilted it upwards. “No, little boy. I think this is part of our relationship now.”

No matter how much Sam wanted to argue, he could not. Daddy, as always, was right. This had been such a monumental moment for him. He expected to have guiltier and traumatic feelings about it, but it turned to be anti-climactic. He had hyped himself up over nothing.

Sam giggled a little in his head. All of this stress and anxiety was gone. Simply gone by letting himself go and doing exactly what little boy’s do; have accidents.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

The fear was back. Cleaned up? Daddy was going to change him like a baby?

He was not exactly sure why this bothered him, Cas had been putting him in his pull-ups for months now and he had washed his little boy parts in the bathtub more then a few times, there was nothing to be ashamed about. Something was different about this. He had just wet himself and Daddy was going to clean it all up.

He began to struggle as Cas’ lifted him and began carrying him upstairs. Then the realization of the whole situation struck him, the pull-up was wet and sticking to his skin. Once Cas made it clear he was not getting away, he fell still against Cas’ chest and silent sobs escaped his mouth.

“What’s wrong, my little one?” Cas questioned as he entered Sam’s little boy room. “Is this not what you wanted?”

“I-I- don’t know,” Sam cried pitifully, tears falling off of his red cheeks and onto Cas’ shirt. 

Cas laid Sammy on his bed and studied his distressed face. “Accidents are okay,” Cas told him firmly, giving him the look that Sam or Dean would dare not argue with.  “You are, after all, a little boy, who is just too little to reach the potty in time.”

Sam blinked up at him. Too little? What did Daddy mean?

Cas hummed at his little one’s perplexed look. “Forgive me,” he apologized quickly, as he began to peel off Sammy’s pajama pants. “I have looked into your mind.” Sammy looked angrily up at him for prying deep into his mind without his knowledge. Overcome by his emotions already, Sammy lashed out, his foot kicking angrily at Cas’, who caught it easily.

Cas gave the little boy a stony glare, but he offered him an explanation. “I needed more information to understand your desire. When I looked, I was enlightened.”

Sammy huffed and looked away. Cas released his ankle, and his hands become gentle, reaching up to stroke away Sam’s tears. “You know what I found?” He questioned gently. “I found comfort. You are comforted by your littleness, and you are comforted by the pull-up’s you wear. You enjoying letting me take control of all the aspects of your life, and you want to give up control of this,” Cas reached down to cup the wet pull-up in his fingers. “Because there is no worry in your life. You had an accident and there was no mess, there was no punishment, and there was nothing bad that came of it. Daddy takes care of all things in you life, little boy, and I’m going to take care of this.”

Sam was crying again at Daddy’s words. Daddy understood. He made sense of something that Sammy could not even organize in his own head. Desperate to be in Cas’ embrace again, Sammy held up his arms to Cas. Cas merely pressed a palm to his chest. “In a moment, sweet boy,” Cas promised. “I want to clean you up first.”

Sammy gave a disappointed whimper but nodded his wet chin.

Cas said nothing more, he just pulled down Sammy’s wet pull up without ceremony. Sammy gasped as the cool air hit his damp skin, and he whimpered at being exposed to the world. Cas patted his thigh reassuringly. “You lay right there, little one,” he instructed. “I’m going to get you a clean pull-up.”

“But Daddy I-

“Hush, little one,” Cas ordered from the dresser. “This is what you want, and this is want you need.”

Sammy wanted to sob into his hands. How did Cas know what he wanted and needed? His stomach was sick at the thought of what Cas intended, but his heart and head were comforted by the idea. Why did everything have to be so hard? Why could he not give in to this without feeling guilt and shame?

“Shhh,” Cas whispered, coming to stand over him again. “Silence your thoughts; everything is going to be well.” Cas had brought back a fresh pull-up and a box of wet wipes. He pulled out a wipe and began to clean off Sammy’s soiled crotch. Sammy flinched, both from surprise and from the cold against his skin. 

Cas was always thorough. He wiped every crease and crevice of Sam’s lower half, having the boy lift his hips so he could get in between his cheeks. Sammy’s face was a solid shade of red. “Daddy…” He whined as Cas moved to lift his private parts and clean around them. “This is the weird part.”

“Why Sammy?” Cas asked; he was truly puzzled. “I do not wish to take advantage of you, I touch your private parts only to clean them.” Cas remembered Dean’s hesitation during his first bath. He was still confused by the human thoughts of modesty and humiliation.  There was nothing sexual about his touch, and yet Sammy flinched as if only a lover should be permitted to touch him there. Sam had nothing to be ashamed of or hide from him, after all Cas’ own vessel had the same parts and he was familiar with the anatomy. He had also washed Sam many times before in the bath, he could not figure out why this moment was causing the boy so much humiliation.  

“I feel like a baby,” Sammy admitted pitifully. “You’re treating me like a baby.”

“I would not exactly say that you have reverted to an infant,” Cas corrected him. “A wayward toddler that has yet to be potty trained, yes.”

“Potty trained?” Sammy spoke again in a confused tone.

“Yes,” Cas stretched the pull-up before putting Sammy’s feet into it. “You no longer need to worry about the potty, because you have these. It’s okay to have accidents because you’re a little boy.”

“But…but…” Sammy protested, though it was only by words. His heart skipped a beat at the thought of being kept little.

“We will try it for a few days,” Cas explained, working the padding up between his legs. “If you are truly unhappy with it, then we can go back to night time only.”

That seemed fair. Sammy was looking forward to feeling little for the time being, but he was not looking forward to having to use his pull-up every day, every time. It was not the action that scared him, it was the scary thoughts that he had about it.

“Daddy?” Sam inquired, his voice mixed with his adult self and with Sammy.

“Yes Sammy?”

“Will you hold me?”

Cas sat on the bed and took the little boy into his arms without any hesitation. Sammy rested his head on Daddy’s shoulder, sniffling into the familiar scent of the shirt.

“You know that I am proud of you, right Sam?” Cas muttered into the top of his head. “That was a very difficult step, and you did really well.”

Sam hummed his answer, not really having the words to respond.

“I know this is scary,” acknowledged Cas, his hand rubbing soothing circles on Sammy’s back. “But I am here to help you; I’m your Daddy… I will never force you to do anything, but I will ask you to try. I believe you will find this rewarding. If it is too much, then we will stop… I promise.”

Sam nodded his chin both in understanding and thankfulness. “Cas?”

Sammy was teetering between adult and little boy with this question. “Yes Sam?”

The younger Winchester looked up at him in fear, “What will Dean say?”

Cas could hear the paranoia in his voice, and there was nothing that he could do to reassure him that Dean would be okay with this change in their relationship. “I will deal with Dean.”

It comforted Sammy, but not enough to get rid of the fear entirely. Dean was going to be a hard case to crack, and they both knew it. “Kay.”

Cas needed to change the subject, and he needed to work on getting Sammy back into his headspace.

“There are new rules for you, little one,” Cas ran his fingers through Sam’s long hair. “Would you like to hear them?”

Sammy moved out of his arms and curled up around him, his head resting Cas’ lap. “Yes…”

“The potty is off limits to you unless I say otherwise,” Cas explained. “From now on you will go on about your day and when it is time to do your business that is what the pull-up is for.”

“But what if I can’t?” Sammy whimpered.

“Then I will help you,” Cas promised as he looked down at Sammy with a smile. “Do not make this harder then it has to be, Sammy.”

“I know, Daddy,” Sammy said into his lap. “It’s just a big change.”

“And you and I will do it together, but you need to trust Daddy,” Cas said stroking Sammy’s cheek with is thumb. The tears were gone and the skin had returned to its normal color.

“I do, Daddy, I do.”

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1.) Sorry this took so long. I'm pretty obsessed with getting it to flow the way I want, and to deal with all the typos and mistakes.  
> 2.) I'm done with the next chapter. It's just in the same boat as this piece was, being picked over and combed through to get the right tone and flow.  
> 3.) This was a collaboration between Kelly and I, and with two different authors with completely different writing styles and ideas of tone get together it makes the work better, but much harder to put together in the end. So please continue to be patient with us.  
> 4\. Thank you so much to Stacy ([embalmer56](http://archiveofourown.org/users/embalmer56/pseuds/embalmer56)) for being my second pair of eyes and ears on this piece. I love you so much. Thank you for taking care of your bug.  
> 5\. To my darling cupcake Kelly. Thank you so much for helping me write this. These chapters would never have gotten done if you had not helped me. Thank you so much for being the light of my life and the smile on my face everyday. I love you so much.  
> 6\. If you are aching for more of this series, visit our blog [here](http://swingsetverse.tumblr.com/). We have lots of snippets up and I post the unedited versions of these chapters there. There are a lot of ficlets posted on the blog that are not hosted on A03. You don't have to have a tumblr account to read them, they're listed on the sidebar. Just drop us a note to let us know that you stopped by to visit. Or even better, come play with us!! ^_^  
> 7\. Without further ado, since you have all been waiting so well. Here is ENAC 3. Oh, and sorry for the cliffhanger. If you want to spoil yourself... the unedited chapter 4 is posted on the blog. >.>

* * *

 

One thing Cas knew for sure was it was going to be a long, challenging couple of days, but Sam wanted this. No, Sam NEEDED this. Cas had heard this for himself in Sammy's desperate thoughts. It was just becoming a strenuous process trying to convince his baby boy that these were his thoughts and there was nothing wrong with them.  
  
Cas had thought it was going to be easy, but it was proving harder than he had imagined, especially after seeing Sammy squirm and wiggle his hips desperately as he lay on his large pirate-themed bed. Cas was heading up to his little boy's room to wake Sam up from his afternoon nap when the angel peeked in through the door and was greeted with the sight of his fidgeting little one.  
  
Cas had to frown. It had only been a day since they had made this change, and already Sam had found a way to avoid it.

Every time Sam felt the need to go, he would clam up and hold his bladder to avoid any more embarrassment or his Daddy needing to clean up his shameful accidents. He would hold it for hours and it hurt his tummy and little boy parts; something that made Cas furious, he hated Sammy causing himself unneeded pain.

For Sammy, it was scary. Too scary to deal with, and just like everything else in his life, Sam hid from his problems and put confrontation off as much as he could.  
  
Without knowing his daddy was looking, Sammy curled up into a tight ball and let out a small pained sob. His achingly full bladder felt like it was going to burst and made his long legs tremble like mad from the pain. Sammy could already feel some dribbles leak out into his pull-up but he didn't want to lose any more control than he already had. He had to hold it. No accidents. Accidents meant others had to suffer and Sammy was a very bad boy for messing up. Again. And again. And again.  
  
With another small sob, Sammy slipped his hands down to his lower half and gripped the front of his padded crotch to try to relieve some pressure. No accidents. No accidents.

Cas' heart hurt for his little one. He hated to see the boy in pain, and he knew that he was suffering both mentally and physically. With a perplexed expression, he leaned in the doorway to observe Sammy's wriggling agony. 

 He was at a loss as to how to handle this new behavior. They had gone from the mindset that "accidents are okay" to this mindset that it was shameful. Instead of Sam willingly using his pull-up, it had become a battle; most of his changes involved a kicking and screaming tantrum. It had become a battle of wills, and Sam had resorted to holding his bladder as a last ditch resort to avoid wetting himself.

 Cas tried to understand why he would put himself through such discomfort to avoid something that he wanted to so badly. He could not understand why Sammy had taken so many disastrous steps backwards, when he had been so open to the idea in the first place. Humans were surprisingly complex when it came to emotions, especially those that surrounded irrational ideas of shame and embarrassment. (He made a mental note to never look into Sam’s mind about childhood potty training with John Winchester, he did not need another reason to drag that man out of hell and torture him.)

 He needed Sam to get on board, or they were going to have to back out and Cas knew that neither one of them really wanted that. Taking a deep breath, he knew that it was time to be firm. Being nice had failed thus far, and it was important to put an end to this behavior. 

 "Samuel," He practically growled as he stalked into the room. "You know better." 

 Sammy DID know better. They had talked at length about why holding it was not acceptable. After doing his research, Cas found that holding your bladder could cause infections and possibly kidney failure. Not to mention the extreme pain that Sammy was bringing upon himself, which was a behavior that Cas would never condone. 

 Sammy flinched violently at his Daddy's angry tone. No. Not him right now. Sammy was scared enough and now Daddy sounded so mad at him. The little boy could only sob and squirm more in response.

 "You have thirty seconds to relieve yourself," Cas instructed him firmly, though his fingers were telling a much gentler story. They were rubbing his abdomen in slow circles, applying a tiny bit of pressure to help Sammy make his decision. He did not want to add an "or else" to his statement, fearing that it might cause the opposite reaction and Sammy's bladder would seize up. The little boy had already earned himself a few swats for holding it to the point that he had, but that would come later. AFTER he was no longer causing himself pain.

 Sammy only gripped tighter on his boy parts, but then he felt Daddy’s hand on his tummy. Sammy's wet eyes widened as his bladder spasmed even more from his Daddy’s loving, purposeful touches and he clenched his thighs together even more tightly to try and stop the inevitable. A hiccup got caught in his throat as he looked up at his Daddy desperately.

"D-Daddy, please" Sammy breathed in a panicked squeak, as his hips wiggled desperately around on the bedspread. "I-I can't do this again, it's too...I-I just can't. Please lemme go potty in the big potty. Please."

Cas was torn in how to respond. The angel was so used to being compassionate and loving to his little boys, being stern was always a last resort, especially for Sammy. His youngest had not broken headspace, his vocabulary was clearly little, and that meant that Daddy needed to stick to their agreement. So, Castiel steeled himself for the inevitable flood of tears, and he shook his head.

"No, Sammy," he muttered, his hand not ceasing its massaging circles. "You are too little for the potty. That is why we have your pull-ups." He reminded him gently, his free hand reaching down to tug Sammy's hand from his crotch. 

"Accidents are okay, little boys have accidents all the time." He recited the new mantra over and over again, hoping that Sammy would take it to heart. "Accidents are okay. Accidents are okay." 

He pressed his forehead to Sammy's, allowing their noses to touch. It was a simple gesture that they shared as Daddy and boy, and exclusive to the two of them. Cas could feel Sammy shaking as their foreheads touched.

"Let go, baby. You wanted this. You wanted to be safe. You desired to feel out of control and not worry about consequences or messes. Daddy gave that to you. Stop being afraid. It will be okay.”

Sammy took a few more very deep breaths as he stared into his Daddy's eyes with his own big glossy ones. He did not know what to say, did not know what to do. Sam's head was spinning with fear, yet there was desire to lose the control just like his Daddy said. It was just that all the other times that Sam made messes...had accidents...it just ended so...

The little boy's thoughts were interrupted as Daddy applied a particularly firm amount of gentle pressure onto his tummy. With the mixture of his spinning thoughts and the outside pushing from his Daddy, Sammy's concentration on holding his bladder was simply overwhelmed. Within seconds, Sammy's heart sank as he felt a sudden and rather forceful rush of warm wetness flood his pull-up. The padded garment quickly began to swell and Sam's breath hitched with panic. However, the panic was soon replaced with a soothing relief as his overly full bladder was finally emptied and the pains accompanying it subsided. By the time his pull-up was full, only a dull ache remained in his tummy.

Sammy was gripping Daddy's trench coat harder and harder as all this happened, and was now shaking against Cas's frame as he buried his head into the angel's shoulder unsure of what else to do.

"I-I'm sorry, Daddy..." Sammy whispered into Cas. "I didn't mean to...h-had an...accident"

Sammy wasn't even forming sentences correctly at this point. The mixture of feelings was too overwhelming for him. Cas did not know what "he didn't mean to do." Was it he didn't mean to hold it? He didn't mean to have an accident? His words and his thoughts were so lost that it even made Cas confused. Poor boy.

Cas did not move away, he kept their heads together. Now that Sammy had gone, both of Cas' hands were free to hold the boy's teary face. His thumb stroked from the bridge of his nose along his cheekbones soothingly. "It's okay. It's okay. You are Daddy's good, little boy. Yes, you had an accident, because you are little."

He knew he sounded silly repeating the same thing over and over, but Sammy needed to hear it as many times as he could. He needed to know that this was all acceptable.  "I'm going to let you go now, so I can change your bottom." And he slowly began to peel away from Sammy.

Sammy whined in protest as Daddy pulled away, not wanting to sit alone in his own mess. However, Cas was firm and shushed his boy gently once more before pushing him down on his back on the bed in order to change him.

A blush crossed his cheeks as he was laid back and strangely enough, a small feeling of relief filled his chest. There was no mess on the bed or on his legs, and Daddy seemed happy enough to want to clean him up and...he did feel little. Incredibility little. Little enough to have to trust his Daddy to help him with one of his most personal matters. It was as if he was really wasn’t not potty-trained yet and just didn't know his to handle his body. It was comforting.

Sammy quickly shook his head at the thoughts. No. No way he should like pissing his pants this much. It was gross and he was making messes on purpose for others to clean up. But those feelings of comfort were still there and it was...oh, Sammy didn't know. It was so confusing.

So, as Cas collected his changing items, Sammy hid his flushed face in his hands. It felt like everyone in the world could see his wet-pull.

Except everyone in the world was exactly Cas and Sammy. Dean was not even home yet. There was no reason for Sammy to be ashamed of this. 

Coming back to the bed, Cas looked down at his boy who was a mess of tears and humiliation on the bed. The angel glimpsed into his brain, trying to get a small sense of what Sammy was feeling, and why he was reacting so dramatically. He saw both sides of the coin floating around in Sammy's thoughts. Relinquishing control over such a basic need and allowing Cas to take care of him was comforting and reassuring in ways that he had never felt, but his adult voice echoed loudly, telling him that he should not enjoy this. 

 "The voices are coming back," Cas acknowledged, and he pulled Sammy's legs out by the ankles, so he could access the soiled pull-up.

Sammy whimpered and bit his lip. He fought the urge to cross his legs and kept his hands over his face when he really wanted to completely cover himself after Daddy rid him of his lounge pants and squishy pull-up. Daddy was thorough and wiped every part of him with a wet wipe. Sammy thought he might just die as Cas touched him, lifting his private parts for better access.

"Sammy," Cas said with a sigh, patting his hip. Sam did not raise them as he knew how too, and Cas was forced to work the pull-up up stiff legs.

"I know you do not hate this." Cas commented knowingly, as he folded up Sammy's pajama bottoms. Sam peeked out between his fingers and looked at them.

"Daddy?"

"No," Cas shook his head as he helped Sammy into a sitting position. "Little boys who hold it and hurt themselves lose their pants for the rest of the day, I was going to spank you, but you are struggling and that would be cruel. Next time I catch you holding yourself for that long I WILL spank you." 

Getting the unpleasantries out of the way, and not giving Sammy any opportunity to balk at the idea, he pulled the pouting little boy back into his arms.

"You needed this, Sammy," Cas reminded him, rocking the boy back and forth. He could still feel the anger and confusion writhing around and even seething off of his little one. This was going to be a long evening.

Still not giving him any chance to pitch a fit, Cas lifted Sammy up and left the room, making sure to place Colt in Sammy's arms and tossing the boys blanket over his own shoulder. There were much more delightful things they could do then worry about when and where Sammy was going to go potty. That had already been decided, and that was part of the idea. Sam was not supposed to worry about it at all.

Carrying the boy down the stairs, he took him to his cherished spot in the living room. His blanket was already spread with his toys. He placed Sammy in the center of his blanket, his padded bum hitting the ground with a familiar puff.

He playfully tossed the blanket over Sammy's head, hoping that a distraction would wipe the sour look from the boy’s face, but when Sam pulled the blanket off in a jerk, it was clear there was no such luck. He stared up at Cas with a petulant glare.

"I'm going to go clean the kitchen from breakfast and lunch," Cas told him with a heavy sigh. "Do not leave your blanket other than for emergencies. Would you like a movie and a snack before I get busy?" 

"I-I don't know..." Sammy mumbled miserably into the fluffy blanket. His tummy was really hurting now from the earlier trauma that it had to go through, and Sammy was starting to really regret holding his bladder for that long.

With his hands on his tummy, Sammy started to try to rub the owwies away. He didn’t even want to think about eating anything right now. 

"No, Daddy..." Sammy groaned finally. "I don't want anything"

 Cas sighed. He definitely had a cranky little boy on his hands. Most likely because Sammy didn’t do any sleeping during his naptime because he was too focused on not wetting himself.

"Alright."

Cas left him in silence. It was probably wasn’t the smartest idea leaving Sam Winchester alone with his thoughts. Cas had high expectations for his boy though, and he hoped that Sam would work through this on his own. If he did not, then they would need to take more serious measures or Cas would just call the whole thing off. He didn’t want to do that. It seemed so right and so natural to have Sam in this role. He was the baby of the family, and it only made sense that his headspace would involve more infantile things. While he had accepted that being Cas’ and Dean's little boy was something that he wanted, being their baby boy was a different story entirely. 

So Cas cleaned the dishes and put a frozen casserole that Dean had made in case of emergencies into the oven. Dean was their cook, Cas could boil pasta and make a sandwich, but Dean was really a surprising master chef. Once it was set, he joined Sammy in the living room.

By the look on Sammy's face, he still didn’t want anything to do with Cas. Shrugging, and looking a bit hurt, Cas fell back onto the couch. The book, which he had been reading over the past few days, materialized beside him, and he picked it up; he was eager to find out what happened in Harry Potter's third year at Hogwarts.  

After a few minutes of leaving Sammy to silently fume, Cas looked up. "Would you like Daddy to read to you? Or are you still attempting to out stubborn me?" 

Sammy's back faced his Daddy as he spoke. His knees were pulled up closely to his chest in some attempt to hide the pull-up from sight but only resulted in anyone seeing his backside to get a full view of the padded garment around his waist.

The little boy huffed in response. Bad enough Daddy was being so mean about Sammy using his pull-ups but he had to take away his lounge pants too; that was just evil!

Of course, these were just tantrum thoughts being mixed with Sammy's tummy ache. He didn't mean any of it, but right now, Sammy was just too confused to really look at the bigger picture. That Daddy was doing the best thing for him.

"I'm not being stubborn" Sammy finally argued back.

Cas scoffed in laughter. "Boy, you are a Winchester. Stubborn is part of your name. Samuel Eric Stubborn Winchester." 

Sammy apparently did not like his deduction and Cas watched his body slouch over in contempt. Cas was forced to chuckle. Sammy could be ten feet tall, but when he was throwing a temper tantrum in a pull-up on a blanket surrounded by toys, he looked two. 

"Sammy, Come here," Cas prodded, this time his voice was kinder. He patted his knee, hoping to coax the boy onto his lap. "Come cuddle with Daddy. I need to snuggle with my little one." 

The little boy did not look back at his Daddy as he spoke. Instead, he contemplated his Daddy's offer. Every fiber of his being told Sammy that Daddy was being far too mean tonight, yelling at him and taking away his pants, to deserve cuddles.

...But his lap did look inviting and Sammy had a feeling that Daddy was holding one of the Harry Potter books that they had lying around. Even adult Sam would never turn down a chance to visit Hogwarts. After a few minutes of tough decision-making, Sammy pushed himself off the blanket and slowly shuffled his way to Daddy with one hand still on his lower tummy.

Cas had to try not to smile too widely from Sammy's awkward walk. The boy was still adjusting to wearing his pull-up in the daytime which resulted in adorable waddles and embarrassed shuffling—both of which—Cas loved to see in his baby boy.

As Sam finally reached his Daddy, he surprisingly did not sit on him. Instead, he used one hand to tug down his shirt as much as possible in order to hide his pull-up, and kept the other hand firmly on his pelvis.

Sammy sniffled before talking. "My tummy really hurts, Daddy. Really, really hurts." Cas could hear the discomfort in his voice as Sammy looked to his Daddy with his sad, little boy face. 

In his own way, Sammy was asking for Cas to take away the pain. Sammy knew that his Daddy could brush his fingers over his abdomen and use his grace to take away the lingering pain from his once swollen bladder. 

For a moment, Cas considered it, and he pushed his hand on top of Sammy’s lovingly. Sam looked down, eagerly awaiting his Daddy's magical touch, but it never came. Sammy whimpered as he jerked his head back up to look at Cas imploringly. 

"No, Sammy," Cas told him, shaking his head. Cas had decided at the very beginning that his grace was for emergencies only. He could mend cuts, broken bones, and he could even push waves of soothing grace into his boys to calm them down, but he decided that he would not fix all of their problems. The boys needed to experience all of this, even the painful parts. Sammy's stomach problem was not serious, it was not causing him life-altering pain, and they both knew that. Cas had no reason to take it away—after all—Sammy had done this to himself.

He used his grip on Sammy's hand to pull Sammy onto his lap. Surprisingly, he didn’t resist, and he his big body fit awkwardly onto Cas' lap. His long legs spilled onto the next cushion, but his head nestled perfectly into the crook of Cas' neck. Cas kissed the top of his head, hearing the sniffle that meant that Sammy might possibly be on the edge of sobs.

"Sammy," Cas began, and he hand had traveled up the back of Sam's shirt to have skin on skin contact as he rubbed comforting circles. "Your tummy hurting is a natural consequence for a naughty thing that you did, and I will not make it better. Just like I would never heal your bottom after a spanking, that is a discomfort that you are forced to endure so that you learn not to repeat the behavior in the future."

Sammy made a mewling sound, hating that fact that Daddy was being so mean. He just wanted his tummy owwie to go away. Before he could whine and plead, Daddy was talking again.

"Holding your bladder is very naughty, Sammy," Cas explained, sounding a tad more firm. "That is why you have your pull-up on. We have talked about this before, tell Daddy why it’s naughty to hold yourself."

Sammy buried his face deeper into Cas's shoulder to try to avoid Daddy's question. However, a light yet firm tap on his thigh from Daddy let Sammy know that he wasn’t not going to get out of this anytime soon. With a shaky sigh, Sammy’s response was muffled into Cas's coat.

"I-I shouldn't hold it cause it's really bad for my body and it hurts my tummy..." Sammy mumbled as he tried to give as little detail as possible. His tummy already hurt and Daddy was already embarrassing him enough by making him walk around in just his sweatshirt and pull-up. He had learned his lesson, and Daddy should see that and fix Sammy's tummy. At least, that was Sammy's logic.

After he spoke, Sam immediately put his hands up by his face and wiped his tears. He was still on the verge of sobs, but he managed to swallow down them for the most part.  

Cas was right about one thing though; he had one cranky baby on his hands, and he realized that getting Sammy to talk right now was going to be like pulling teeth. So instead, he adjusted Sammy on his lap so that they were face to face, and he pulled his Sammy’s hands down into his lap. There was no place to hide.

"That is right, Sammy," Cas acknowledged, giving the hand in his grip a reassuring squeeze. "You could give yourself an infection, and then it would hurt so much more, and it would burn. You do not want that, and neither do I.” 

Sammy squirmed on his Daddy's lap, the pull-up making its familiar ruffling sound, causing Sammy to blush and look away. Cas moved the hand he had been using to rub lazy circles on Sammy’s back to grip his chin, turning Sammy's teary eyes back towards his own. "Do you know what other reason makes it naughty, Samuel?"

Sammy managed to shake his head even in Cas' grasp. He bit his lip, and in response, Cas used his thumb to pull it away from his teeth.

"I think you do," Cas told him. "But I will remind you. Holding your bladder means that you are trying to control the situation. Daddy told you to go potty in your pull-up, because you are too little for the regular potty. Daddy told you that because you do not have control over such things, because you are little. You like being little. You like being safe. You like Daddy taking care of you. When you are holding your bladder, you are telling Daddy no. You are trying to have control over a situation. That is adult behavior, not little boy behavior. You do not fight Daddy... that's not like you at all. That is like your brother." 

Cas was typically not one to compare relationships, but Sammy needed to realize what he was doing. Dean was infamous for fighting Cas' control in every way possible; with his words, his fists, and his mind. It was why Dean almost always had a sore bottom. He wanted to lose control, but he wanted to be forced to that point. Sammy had been a whole different story entirely. Being little had been so natural to him. He had normal struggles, but he had never outright used his actions to defy giving up control.  This was a new behavior indeed.

"I will not have it, Samuel." Cas said firmly. "We have three options. You can tell me that you do not want this and we will stop. And you cannot just tell me from your mouth, you must tell me from your heart and your head," He let go of Sam's chin to touch his temple and his chest to make a point. "I will know if you are lying with your lips." He let that sink in for Sammy, listening to the small sniffle that escaped him.

"The second option is we go forth as planned, and you can continue trying to take control of the situation," Cas' brow wrinkled and his tone darkened. "But I assure you, that you will not enjoy the consequences if you do." Another moment was given to Sammy so he could let Cas' second option sink in. Then, Cas bounced him gently on his knee.

"Listen to me, little one." His voice was gentle and loving again. "I promise you the third options is the best, letting go of this will be very rewarding. Stop thinking about it so much, just be my baby boy, okay?" He pulled him into a squeezing hug. "Now... what is your choice?" He pushed Sammy back so he could look into his eyes as he spoke. 

Sammy was quiet for the longest time. He just kept his eyes down and wished Daddy would just let go of his hands so Sam could hide his face back in his palms. There was no way he could tell Daddy that he wanted out of this de-potty training test, because in all honesty, Sam didn't want to stop. That feeling of relief that had washed over him yesterday when Sam had finally had his accident after thinking and freaking about it so much; and Daddy still held him and comforted him after. Sammy just felt so safe knowing that Daddy didn't think he was weird or sick for wanting to have an accident; he just kept holding his baby boy and told him it was natural for little boys to have accidents. For the first time in his life, Sam felt like he was allowed to mess up and not have the end of the world follow him. And Cas… he had helped so much. No, Daddy was holding him right now, not Cas, and he continued to say that he loved his little boy and just wanted him to be happy. Sammy had to believe him. Sammy had to trust him.  Even if all the fears and confusion about the situation made Sammy's heart heavy and made him head swim. Sammy didn't want to stop, but still...it was scary.

 _I'm little. I'm little._ Sammy repeated over and over in his head till he finally nodded at his Daddy with wet glossy eyes, tears threatening to spill from them.

"I-I'm sorry, D-Daddy...I won't hold it anymore. I just...I don't...I-I won't hold it. I'll do it."

Cas rocked him gently, pressing loving kisses into his messy mop of hair. He wanted to believe that this was the last of Sammy's fight, but he knew better. When the Winchester's picked an issue to fight over, they fought until the last bit of their energy was spent. This was Sammy's issue. No matter how much he wanted it in his heart of hearts, the tiny little demon on his shoulder was going to keep mumbling doubt into his ears.

"It is okay, my sweet boy," Cas told him. "Everything will be alright. You and I will get through this, and everything will work out fine." 

Cas knew that it would, eventually Sammy would let go and trust him with this just like he did everything else. He allowed Sammy to settle and then picked up the book. Still petting Sam gently he began to read.

 _"Harry Potter was a highly unusual boy in many ways. For one thing, he_ _hated the summer holidays more than any other time of year. For another,_ _he really wanted to do his homework but was forced to do it in secret, in the dead of night. And he also happened to be a wizard."_

* * *

 

After only a few short pages, Sammy was practically melted buttered in Daddy's arms. His eyes were half-lidded and his mouth was slightly agape with an extremely relaxed expression painted across his face. Much to Cas's delight, Sammy would occasionally coo with a small smile at the funny and happy moments in the story. Throughout the book, Sam's calm expression never changed and he simply relaxed further into Daddy's frame. Cas couldn't be happier that the tantrum seemed to have all but disappeared, this was most likely due to the fact Sam's practically had no energy after his hissy fit and that he had barely slept during his nap today from the distress about his pull-ups.

Now, he was that calm, sweet boy that Cas loved so dearly again, and soon enough Sam was 'resting his eyes' and humming lazily along to the chapter.

As Cas expected, it only took a few more minutes until he was doing more than "resting his eyes.” Sammy was snoring on his chest. Cas would have preferred that Sammy had slept in his bed during his regular naptime, but the temper tantrum had prevented it. Now was as good as time as ever, and Cas held him through his slumber. He pulled a nearby throw blanket onto Sam's legs before he continued reading his book in silence for as long as Sammy needed to sleep. 

About an hour and half later he heard the oven beeping, and Cas gently moved himself out from underneath Sammy, and laid him out on the couch. The boy moaned in his sleep and wiggled some, but did not wake up. Kissing his cheek, Cas prayed to his Father that Sammy would sleep tonight. Late afternoon naps were not part of his routine. 

As he pulled the casserole out, he laughed a little. One whole casserole for Sammy. He had forgotten that Dean would not be home until tomorrow and he himself didn’t eat. The boys would be eating leftovers for lunch tomorrow then. 

He heard Sammy's familiar I'm-awake-come-get-me whines and whimpers, a sound that Cas had come to adore. He was convinced that Sammy had no idea that he made such precious baby noises, because Cas knew if Sammy ever realized that he was making them he would stop. That was something that Cas did not want, so he never pointed out Sam's cooing or whining.

"Well hello there, baby boy," Cas greeted, kneeling beside the waking boy. "Did you have a nice nap on Daddy's lap?" 

Sammy yawned loudly in response as he began to rub at his sleepy eyes with the heels of his hands. It was obvious that grogginess still had control over most of Sammy's head right now as Sammy was not trying to fix his naptime bed head that sticking up in all directions. He yawned again before nodding sleepily.

"Yeah, Daddy..." He mumbled finally as he gingerly sat up on the couch.

Sam blinked and sniffed loudly. When his vision finally focused, he saw his exposed legs and his crinkly pull-up puffing out. A quick and hot blush crossed his cheeks, and Sammy quickly scrambled to pull the throw blanket over his lap.

Cas chuckled at his last ditch effort for modesty, and he allowed the boy that tiny luxury. Reaching forward, Cas ruffled his hair in attempt to smooth at the crazy bed head, but only made it worse.

 "I am taking you to get a hair trim this weekend," Cas announced as he stood back up. "It is getting out of control."

Sammy stuck out his tongue lazily at the idea of a haircut. They both knew that a trim meant just that, a trim. They would never cut Sammy's hair; it was part of his charm, and Dean and Cas loved running their fingers through it as the little boy lied on their chest for cuddles.

"Dinner is ready. How about dinner on the couch with a movie?" 

It was a rare treat that Cas let them eat in the living room. They had a dinner table and Cas firmly believed in its use. Sometimes, if the boys had been really good, they ate dinner in front of the television. Cas knew that eventually Sam would need to use his pull up again, and he wanted to offer him as much distraction as possible. 

The little boy instantly perked up at eating in the living room. Some snuggles with Daddy, a movie on the TV, and dinner in his lap? Sign him up! It seemed so crazy that such a simple thing would make the boy so excited. After all, Sam and Dean were very familiar with eating in front of the TV, they had done it so many times before in motel rooms. The boundaries that Cas had set in place seemed to work wonders. He was able to use these types of things as reward. It was delightful to see the little boy’s eyes light up when they got a cupcake or when they were allowed to stay up past bedtime. Whoever said that rewards were not an effective tool had obviously not raised the Winchester’s.

Sammy nodded eagerly at Daddy with a big wide smile. Then suddenly a look of realization crossed his face and Sam quickly looked back up at Cas.

"Actually...Can we call Daddy before dinner?"

Cas looked down at him with a look of puzzlement. They usually called Dean before bed, not before dinner. It would not matter, Dean was driving right now and he would answer, but he was curious to Sam's intent.

Pulling the cellphone out of his pocket, he speed dialed Dean's number. It rang a few times before he heard the familiar voice of his partner. "Heya Daddy-o." 

Cas rolled his eyes. That voice was teasing Cas' authority, and Cas knew that Dean would need his attention when he finally arrived home. After almost dying, no one could blame him.

"Dean, I have a little boy that needs to talk to you."

He heard Dean clear his throat. He had not quite shifted his roles yet, even though his little boy was dancing on the surface. Easily, he was able to become Daddy for Sammy in this moment. It hurt him, but it was better for now. Dean was driving. Little boy's did not drive. So, he managed to hold onto the adult part of his brain till he got home.

"Put him on."

"Dean?" Cas questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I'll manage till I get home," Dean muttered. "But Cas..."

 Cas hummed at him.

"It might be a fight."

Grinning, Cas answered, "I would not expect anything less of you, my boy."

Then he passed the phone over to Sammy. "Daddy is on for you." 

Sammy was still a bit shaken up from the incident with Dean. He knew that his brother was alive and well, but still, hearing his voice gave Sammy a relieved comfort. Besides, he missed his Daddy when he was in little mode, and with all the craziness that'd been happening with his pull-ups lately, Sammy just wanted some familiarity.

"Hi, Daddy" Sammy whispered sweetly as he took the phone from Cas's hands and smooshed it quickly to his ear. Sam then scooted himself forward, resting his forehead against Daddy Cas's chest and spoke again. "I just wanted to say hi."

"Well hey there, Sammy." 

Dean knew what this was about. He could not be fooled easily. Sam needed to hear his voice to make sure that everything was okay. It had been less than 24 hours since Sam had seen his brother almost die. You don’t erase that kind of memory overnight. 

Dean knew that first hand. He had forgotten what it was like to have your life flash before your eyes. It was not an experience that he cared to repeat anytime soon. He couldn't stop seeing the memory. Secretly, though he would never admit it, he could not wait to be home to his Daddy, where Cas would force that haunting memory out of his head, and he could enjoy peace. The peace that only came when he was in little boy headspace, over Cas’ lap, with his Daddy spanking away the demon.

He shuddered at the thought, but still, he could not wait to be home.

"Are you being good for your Daddy?" 

Sammy nodded even though Dean couldn't see it though the phone. The sound of his brother's gruff voice steadied Sammy's soul. Cas had saved him and Dean was still ok, Sammy just had to make sure. The image of Dean's bloody and beaten body was still stuck in the back of the little boy's head, and it just made Sammy want Dean home even more.

"Yes, Daddy" Sammy spoke softly and held the phone closer. "We're um..."

 _Experimenting with wetting pull-ups so that I can feel safe and like an un-potty trained toddler. Ya know the usual._ Sammy scoffed at the thought. Actually, he was really scared of what Dean was going to say or do when he found out what he and Cas have been doing and how deep Sammy was trying to go into his headspace. Sammy didn't want to think too hard about that right now. He was going to cross that bridge when he got there.  

"...watching movies and cuddling" Sammy finally finished. Cas said he was going to deal with Dean, and Sammy was going to trust him on that. "Are you coming home soon, Daddy?"

Even over the phone Dean could tell when Sammy was hiding something from him. He'd lived with Sammy his whole life, they lied to each often, but they always knew when it happened. It was even easier to tell when something was being withheld when Sammy was little.

Dean wasn’t really in the mood to call him out on it. He'd find out soon enough.

"Yeah, squirt. I'll be home tomorrow morning. Don't tell your Daddy this, but I'm going to try and drive most of the night. I'll stop when I can't make it anymore." 

Dean knew that Cas already knew that. They had talked about it on the phone last night. Dean had been adamant about getting home to Cas as soon as possible. Driving through the night had been ruled out immediately, so it had been decided that Dean would drive until it was no longer safe. He would pull over at a motel, get a few hours of sleep and then hit the road again. 

"So...I'll see ya bright and early." 

Sammy perked up with a small smile at the news, but the nagging reminder that it meant that Dean was going to find out what they'd been doing while he was gone wouldn’t go away. The little boy tried to shake the thought out of his head and remind himself that Dean being home meant that he would be safe and sound with the rest of the family. Still, Sammy could not help but be a little worried.

He nodded again and replied with a mix of nervousness and perk. "Ok, good! I miss you a lot though, Daddy"

"I miss you too, kid." And it was true. Dean always missed Sammy. They were so used to being together that it felt wrong when they were not near one another. He didn’t know how to explain that by the time that Sammy woke up in the morning that they would be spending time as brothers again, and not as Daddy and little boy. They hadn’t been little together since Christmas. 

Sammy would not mind. He loved Dean in any role that he played. The hesitation was all Dean—or at least he assumed it was—and he had to place it in the hands of Castiel to ensure that it all runs smoothly.

"Alright, I'm gunna hang up now, Sammy buddy," Dean told him gently. "You can call before you go to bed and I'll say goodnight. Love you." 

The last two words were not something that they exchanged before Daddy Cas had come along. Now they slipped out of his mouth without a second thought. He half grinned at how much his attitude had changed since their family dynamics had changed. He would never openly admit it, but he was happy. 

"I love you too, Daddy," Sammy whispered with a soft but wide smile. It had been so weird to hear Dean start to say ‘ _I love you’ again_ , but jeez if it wasn't good to hear it again, and everyday too. 

Cas had to smile at Sammy's beaming face. It was too wonderful to see the therapy's effects on his little boys' relationship. They were communicating and getting so much closer. They were becoming brothers again, like they should have been all their life. After a few more seconds of the happy moment, Castiel nudged his little boy to give him the phone. Sammy pouted and mumbled one more goodbye to Dean before handing his other daddy the cellphone. Cas chuckled; another thing he also saw was that some of Dean's playful, bratty behaviors were starting to rubbing off on Sammy.

With one last wish of safety and a goodbye, Cas hung up on Dean and was left with one little boy who needed to eat his dinner before he got cranky.

"Alright, little one," He slid the phone into his pocket and ran his fingertips through Sammy’s hair. "You get to pick the movie tonight." Cas left it open, though he knew exactly which movie the boy would likely pick. If Sammy had his way, they would watch his beloved "puppy movie" twenty-four hours a day, and _while Lady and the Tramp_ had been endearing the first half a dozen times, now the prospect made him and Dean cringe. Luckily, Cas was feeling generous. 

Leaving Sammy to his task, Cas went into the kitchen to get Sammy’s dinner ready. The casserole had cooled enough for him to spoon some onto Sammy's little boy platter. Knowing Sammy's affinity to all things healthy, he steamed a bag of broccoli in the microwave and put a generous helping next to the casserole. After filling up Sammy's beloved Cuppy with juice, he put everything on a lap tray, so that he would not have to worry about Sammy holding a plate with his clumsy hands. The tray could sit across his lap and he could eat without making a mess. 

"Alright, dinner is served. Did you pick a movie, baby?" 

As Castiel entered the living room with the full tray in his hands, he was greeted with a rather adorable sight. Sammy was kneeling in front of their movie cabinet, seeming not to notice that his pull-up was now on display for all to see. The little boy was too busy looking at the movie in his hands; his tongue was even stuck out slightly in thought. However, Sammy's ear perked up when he heard his Daddy's voice. Sammy turned around to face him with a big smile on his face, and then proudly stuck out the movie for his Daddy to see.

 And to Cas's utter surprise, it wasn't the puppy movie. It was _Peter Pan_.

Sammy chuckled at his Daddy's surprised face. "This one. I want to watch this one."

Cas blinked a couple more times before smiling. Sammy was really trying to put an effort into his role right now; the phone call from his other Daddy must have really perked him up.

"I like this one," Cas told him genuinely. In fact it was one of his favorite to watch with the boys. Call him silly, but he often saw his boys very much like Wendy. She was forced to grow up by her Father and a trip into a magical land where she could be childish as much as she wanted to, allowed her to take growing up much more slowly. She knew that it was something to cherish. Maybe his boys were going about it all backwards, but it still had a significant place in Cas' head.

"Up on the couch," Cas instructed. Sammy climbed up like a toddler would, knees first (giving Cas an adorable view of his padded backside) and the flopped around on his bottom. With a smile, Cas placed the tray over his lap and took the DVD from his fingers. "Your dinner is served, prince." 

He waited for Sammy to take a bite before he turned to the TV and started the movie. He made sure to grab the remote before he made himself comfortable beside Sammy. He looked over his little one fondly, so thankful that his temper tantrum had passed. It was bittersweet though. Cas knew that another one could drop at any moment. It was easy for Sam to slip into his headspace when Cas was not asking him to do challenging new things. Eventually Sammy's bladder would be full again and they would start the whole process again. Cas sighed loudly, his head cocked to the side as he watched Sammy chewing and intently staring at the screen. He knew that Sam would eventually learn to accept this, he would love his pull-ups, and he would love that Cas was willing to take care of him. It would just take more than one day. 

Cas was angled facing Sammy and he leaned his elbow into the back of the couch, his forehead wrinkled, deep in thought. What would they do after Sammy became adjusted. Pull-ups were not really going to cut it. They were barely holding Sammy's accidents as it was. It had only been Cas' grace that had prevented leaking, a tiny white fib for Sammy's own good, the whole relationship would go up in flames if Sammy had an accident and made a mess. Diapers were an option. Actually, they were Cas' preferred choice. Though he was not exactly sure how to break that to Sammy. First he needed him to get over this hurdle. Being completely unaware of Cas's worries and thoughts about him, Sam was lost in a world of contentment, full of yummy casserole and awesome pirate fights. Sammy took a gigantic bite of his casserole and chased it with his juice, sucking loudly on the straw of his Cuppy. Cas grinned. "How is dinner, baby boy?" 

 His daddy's question broke Sammy's concentration and made his puppy eyes flicker to Cas for a moment. Almost instantly, they went back to the screen. 

"Iss good, Daddy" Sammy mumbled absently, too invested in Peter's flying. Cas even saw Sammy gently abandon his little plastic fork and use his big grabby fingers to pick up one of his pieces of steamed broccoli and pop it into his mouth. Leave it to a little boy to want to use his hands and not his fork. 

Cas cringed, though he managed not to scold Sammy. He was overly obsessed with hygiene. It was one of the reasons that he kept his clothes neat and tidy and pressed. Baths and showers were mandatory for the boys, and Cas was extra thorough now that he was cleaning Sammy's bottom every couple of hours. Reminding himself that it was good for Sammy to be slipping into little boy behaviors, and comforting himself by the promise of a bath later... he allowed Sammy to finish eating using his fingers.

Cas hummed, still leaning on his fist as he observed Sammy. He watched as a bite of casserole slipped from his fingers and onto his shirt. Cas sucked in a breath, but Sammy simply looked down, picked it back up, and popped it in his mouth. Cas half laughed, trying to ignore the stain forming on his shirt.

"We might need to invest in a bib for you." He was not sure if he was half joking or half telling the truth. 

However, that comment made Sammy pout directly at his Daddy. Actually using his pull-ups was a big enough step already; the last thing Sammy wanted right now was another babyish outfit piece. He shook his head stubbornly at Cas. 

"I don't need one, Daddy" Sammy stated promptly as he wiped the corner of his mouth with his large hand. "I am clean"

Well...cleanish.

Sam was very adamant on keeping himself clean and groomed, but Sammy was a bit different. With Daddy insisting on taking care of everything for him, Sammy was allowed to slip into more of a dependent role. This included cleanup of his person, but Daddy was usually pretty good on making sure Sammy stayed dirt and stickiness-free. Still, a bib was out of the question for the little boy right now, that was too much at one time.

"Fine.”

Cas was not prepared to argue with him, besides... he would just have to pre-treat the shirt and run the washer twice. No big deal. He sighed and reached out the brush his thumb over Sammy's lips, to wipe away excess sauce. "I will be sure to scrub you extra hard in the bathtub tonight."

 Sam grunted in response, stuffing his mouth full of broccoli and turning his attention to the movie again. Cas rolled his eyes, and got lost in the movie as well. It took him several long minutes to be alerted to the squeak of Sammy's empty Cuppy as he sucked at it. Cas reached over to pull the cup from his lips, and Sammy smiled shyly. "Sorry."

"It's alright," Cas grinned at him. "Would you like more juice?" 

Juice was Cas' ally right now. The more that Sammy drank, the more that Sammy would need release his bladder, and hopefully the less Sammy would put up a fight.

Sammy gave him a small nod. He was relatively deep into his headspace right now, especially now that he had had time to recover from his temper tantrum and from his earlier tummy ache.

The lack of juice was hindering this, so Sammy shook his Cuppy in a small manner at his Daddy and nodded again. "Yes please, Daddy"

Cas took the cup and the tray from Sammy. He kissed Sammy on the top of the head as he walked by and Sammy ignored it, craning his head to see around Cas' body. 

"Silly boy," muttered Cas as he went into the kitchen. He filled the cup with juice once more and put the dishes into the dishwasher. When he returned, he found Sammy's gaze hooked on the television, his fingers in his mouth. That was a new behavior, and Cas had to wonder what other behaviors Sammy had acquired now that he was so deep into his headspace.

Cas gently pulled his fingers out of his mouth and wiped them clean with the napkin that he had brought. He also wiped Sammy's mouth and cheeks clean. The little boy jerked away each swipe of the napkin so that he could watch his movie, but Cas seemed satisfied with the quick clean up. As a reward, Sammy got his Cuppy back. 

Cas settled down next to Sammy and pulled him close, making sure he had his blanket and Colt snuggled in his arms and his legs covered with the throw blanket off of the back of the sofa.

"Alright... Daddy will leave you alone so you can finish your movie." 

Sammy only offered a small, distracted nod in response. Cas chuckled, nothing usually got between his boys and their movies. The angel nestled his head on top Sammy's mane and began to watch Peter and Wendy with his little boy.

About an hour later, the movie ended, but Cas knew his little boy was too situated, snuggled against his side and buried in his fortress of blankets for the angel to get up and change the movie. Besides, they still had time before Sammy needed his bath and his bedtime. So Cas cheated by flicking his hand and the TV flickered black. Sammy perked up in concern, but settled back down again when the familiar Disney logo appeared on screen and slowly transitioned into the beginning of the ‘puppy movie’. Daddy knew him so well.

Sammy settled back down into the warmth of his blankets and his Daddy, but frowned when he felt the familiar growing pressure in his lower stomach. His heart began to race slightly when he realized what needed to happen soon. No, Sammy did not want to worry about that right now; he wanted to enjoy his little time and his movie.

Time took its toll on the boy though, and the pressure began to grow more and more as his bladder slowly began to shudder from fullness. Sammy gulped nervously.

 _No, no, no, not now._ Sammy did not want to go through another fit of fighting and crying with his Daddy right now. 

Well, why did he have too?

Sammy realized that he did not have to fight. With a small breath, the young hunter discreetly reached under the blanket to feel the top of the plastic pull-up. This whole thing was Sammy's idea after all, and Daddy was caring enough to go along with him. But all Sammy did was fight and scream when Daddy tried to help him sort through his feelings. Daddy didn't deserve that.

Besides, Sammy wanted to start using his pull-ups so he could have accidents without making messes and making others stress out. This was about not making a big deal. This was about being able to make a mistake, clean it up, and just learning to move on. 

OK...he didn't need Daddy to help him with this part. Sam was little, and this is just what little boys did. That's what Daddy said, and Sammy needed to believe.

So with another nervous sigh, Sammy shakily took his hand off of his pull-up and tried to relax against Daddy’s side. He could do this by himself; the padding could soak up everything. Everything was going to be ok.

Trying to not draw too much attention to himself, Sammy took another small breath and squeezed his eyes shut. He had to focus. He could do this. It was ok to do this. He was little. He was little. This was safe.

A sudden warmth on his crotch made Sammy squeak loudly and grip onto his Daddy's shirt in surprise. Sammy quickly squeezed his eyes shut again and concentrated on the task at hand. In response, his bladder continued to fill his pull-up causing the plastic to swell between Sammy's legs. After what felt like forever, the wetness finally stopped spreading and Sammy was left shaking and slightly teary-eyed at what he just done. A small snivel was caught in his throat and Sammy tried to swallow it down. He felt frighteningly small right now, mixed with relief and euphoria swimming in his head right now. The combination of feelings only made Sammy shake harder and he was scared to move. Instead, he stiffly buried his wet eyes and face into his Daddy's side, hoping to find some kind of comfort.

Of course, Cas held him closely. There was no hiding the truth from Castiel. He did not even have to look into Sammy's head to pick up what had just transpired, and Cas beamed with pride down at the squirming Winchester.

There had been no fight, no tantrum, and no attitude. Sammy had accepted his littleness and abandoned control. This was the whole idea, and despite the relief that they both felt, he could also feel fear creeping up into the back of Sam's brain. 

Cas was going to nip that in the bud before it started. Sammy's fear was what his lead to the temper tantrum hours before, and Cas was not eager for a repeat.

"Did you have an accident?" Cas asked gently, as he lifted up the blanket to check, even though they both knew the answer.

Sam blushed and tried to hide his face deeper into Cas' side. 

“No, no, don't be ashamed," Cas scolded gently as he sat Sammy up. He brushed away the already forming tears. "Little boys are supposed to have accidents, and see..." He tilted Sam's chin down to his own lap. "No mess. No big deal."

He let that sink in for Sammy, because that was what this was all about for Sam, being little and not screwing up everything up. Cas needed Sam to know that he would never be, and never was, a screw up, either as Sam Winchester or as his little boy.  Cas felt a pang of guilt as he thought about his boy’s self-hatred. At one point, he had been a part of Sam’s low self-worth, calling him an abomination. The memory tore into him like a knife; how could he have said such a thing about either one of his boys? How could he said something like that about sweet Sammy? Out of instinct, Cas pulled Sammy closer to him. This role was healing for both of them.

"Daddy is so proud," Cas muttered into his messy hair. "You can have any reward you want for not fighting this. What will it be?"

Sammy didn't respond to his Daddy's question right away. He was still staring at his lap and felt a small bout of relief fill his chest. There was no puddle underneath him, and everything was dry. Even when Sammy started to wiggle his hips and spread his legs slightly, his pull-up stayed full and did not leak at all. A small shy smile spread across his face. It was just like what Daddy said, there was no mess and it was no big deal. He was just warm and safe. Finally.

The angel nudged Sammy out of his thoughts and the little boy's head popped back up. Cas chuckled gently and repeated his question.

"Um..." Sammy said with another small fidget. Anything? Daddy really thought he deserved it? In any case, this was a rare opportunity, and Sammy needed to take advantage of it.

"Um...could I have some ice cream?"

"Ice cream sounds like a brilliant reward." Cas smiled and he kissed the top of his head. "If you keep this up, you might even get to sleep in the big bed tonight."

Cas knew what a big thing that was for Sammy. Dean and Cas had their own bedroom, Dean slept there when he was not a little boy and Cas shared the space with him even though he did not sleep. They tried to keep Sammy in his own room as much as possible, but the little boy had become accustomed to snuggling up against Cas to sleep. They had rules about staying in bed, so being able to sleep with Daddy was a treat. 

"But first," he pressed his forehead up against Sammy's. "We should change your bottom, you do not want to eat ice cream all wet do you?" Before pulling away, he brushed his nose with Sammy's, and the little boy was forced to smile. 

"Lay back on the couch, baby boy. I'll go get your things." 

Sammy wiped the remainder of his tears away and sniffled loudly. There was still a bit of panic and nervousness from the whole confusing incident, but the little boy swallowed to calm down more. He followed Daddy's instruction and fell backwards onto the couch, waiting patiently.

However when he laid back, his pull-up made an audible squish noise that made Sam shudder. It was such a weird sensation but felt strangely...right. Waiting for his Daddy to come change him because Sammy couldn't hold his bladder yet. It was not a bad thing, and Sammy sighed contently.

While caught in a whirlwind of thoughts, Sam absently slipped his fingers into his mouth while he used the other to tug at the edge of his pull-up. Everything was ok. There was no mess and Daddy was going to take care of him. 

And he was getting ice cream! He could get used to being little.

Upon returning Cas did not automatically pull Sammy's fingers from his mouth, for once. Cas really hated Sammy's new fixation on sucking on his nasty, germy fingers, but this was Sammy's moment. He needed to process everything, and Cas preferred that he processed everything in his headspace and if him sucking on his fingers was part of that....so be it.

Cas sat the end of the couch so that Sammy's feet were in his lap, and it still gave him enough room to change him. He moved Sam's hand away from the pull-up, which he had been subconsciously picking at. He peeled it off, careful not to let the soiled inside touch the couch. Once that was off, he tossed it aside so he could spread Sammy's long legs. Taking a wipe he began to clean him up.

"What kind of ice cream do you want?" Cas asked, using the conversation to distract him. Sammy hated being so thoroughly cleaned, and Cas watched the blush spread up his neck and onto his usually dimpled cheeks.  He hissed through his fingers when the cold wipe made contact with his soiled skin. It was soon followed by a whine, but with one more suckle of his fingers, Sammy started to calm down.

Sammy was also slightly perplexed about his new habit. He really didn’t know where this oral fixation came from, but lately, having something in his mouth for his cheeks and tongue to play with was very comforting. Especially with his fingers constantly, well, on hand, Sam started the habit without even really realizing it. 

As Cas pulled the wipe away, Sammy quickly closed his legs to try to regain some type of warmth. Cas had to chuckle.

With another small sniffle, Sammy lied his head back and thought about his Daddy's question.

"Ummm...h-how about chocolate?"

Cas was already working the dry pull-up up Sammy's lanky legs when Sammy made his ice cream choice. "Well aren't you a lucky little boy," Cas announced as the pull-up slipped into place around Sammy's waist. "There is chocolate ice cream in the freezer." 

Cas pulled Sammy's shirt back down, which had rode up past his belly button. He finally took Sammy's fingers from his mouth. Sammy whimpered a little bit, but Cas quieted him by lifting him off the couch and into his arms. Thank goodness for his grace that allowed him to lift Sammy up like a feather. 

"Ice cream and bath?" 

Sammy gently laid his head on his Daddy's shoulder, just happy to be dry again. As embarrassing as it was to admit, Sam liked the sweetness of the moment. Quick clean up after an accident and the relieved feeling of no one being mad at him, and just forgiving and forgetting. This was something that Sam felt he could definitely get used to.

The little boy just smiled contently to himself and wrapped his arms around his Daddy's neck. He nodded softly into his Daddy's shoulder before picking his head back up and putting it on Cas's cheek.

"Yes, please, Daddy" Sammy said with a genuine happy smile. "I would like that a lot"

"Good," Cas placed Sammy on his feet. Usually he would sit him on the counter, but his legs were bare and the marble counter top would be cold. Cas really did think of everything. 

Reaching for a bowl, he pulled out the tub of ice cream that they kept around for just such an occasion. Cas was happy that Sammy enjoyed sweet treats now. It had been very difficult to get him to eat anything other than health food for the first few weeks. They had eaten so much junk food as kids that Sammy naturally just avoided it. Cas had to teach him that treats were acceptable in moderation, and he loved to see Sammy's eyes light up when he tasted chocolate now that he enjoyed it again. 

Placing the bowl, now full of two generous scoops of ice cream, on the table with a large spoon, he patted the chair for Sammy. "Alright, little buddy, come eat your ice cream." 

However, Sammy didn't go to sit down. Instead, the taller man lightly tugged on the angel's sleeve. When Cas turned he was met with his greatest enemy. Sammy's puppy dog look. 

"Um...Could we actually eat it in living room? I still wanna finish the movie...and um...sit with you" Sammy said in his best sweet little boy voice and Cas could swear his eyes were glistening. 

Cas was easily swayed, and he conceded with a smile. "Alright, grab your bowl and let’s go."

He headed toward the living room, noting that Sammy followed him, a tiny waddle in his steps. Cas could not help but smile at his childish movement. Cas fell back onto the couch and pulled Sammy onto his lap with his bowl. 

He used his grace to resume the movie and waited to hear the familiar clink of the spoon against the bowl. 

The next hour was absolutely pleasant. Sammy had finished his ice cream in record time and only whined a little when Daddy had to wipe all the excess chocolate off his pouty lips and cheeks. Cas did win the overall struggle with a few well-placed tickles to his tummy. Both the angel and the hunter ended up in a content mood with Sammy snuggled in the safety of his Daddy's arms. 

Cas simply could not believe how sweet and happy Sammy was now, especially after the morning they both suffered through with Sammy's meltdown. It was a change for the better and Cas was starting to actually think Sammy might be able to open up to the ideas of maybe transitioning into diapers when he's in little mode. 

However, a small yawn broke Cas's thoughts and the angel looked down to see his baby boy rubbing his eyes sleepily.

Luckily, the movie was ending and Cas did not have to start a fight to get Sam away from an unfinished ‘puppy movie’.

"Upstairs with you," Cas said, standing the boy to his feet. Sammy waited awkwardly for Cas to turn off all the electronics and gather his things, before he raised his arms out to Cas.

With a tiny laugh, Cas lifted him up. "My little one likes to be carried by his Daddy, hmm?" Sammy simply nodded into the comforting material of his Daddy's shirt. Kissing him gently, Cas made it up the stairs and into the bathroom.

Bath time was easy and went over without problems, mostly because Sammy was tired and kept yawning through the entire process. Cas got him out of the tub and dried off in record time.

"You all ready to call your Daddy for night-night?" Cas asked as he carried Sammy out of the bathroom and into his and Dean's room where all of his bedtime things were laid out on the bed. A fresh pull up, powder, and his sleeper.  

Sammy instantly blushed at the sight and fidgeted against Daddy. It was fine, Daddy knew what he was doing. Sam was still shivering slightly when Daddy laid him down on the bed and spread the little boy's legs to change him. 

Sammy could not help but cover his face with his hands in an attempt to cover up his blush. But he still mumbled through his hands in response to his Daddy's question. "Y-Yeah...I miss him a lot, Daddy. I want him to be home and safe…” Sam paused, he didn't want to bring up the hunting incident...

Cas smiled as he tickled Sammy's bare feet playfully. As Sammy wiggled and giggled, Cas reached for the powder and applied a generous amount to Sammy’s crotch and inner thighs. 

"He misses you too," Cas promised, massaging the powder into the skin. With a sigh, he decided to tell Sammy the truth about Dean... and what would be happening tomorrow. Honestly, they would both rather deal with Dean's reaction to Sammy's new changes with Dean being Daddy... but that was not going to be how it was. Dean needed to be little and that was the fact of the matter.  Cas was hoping that Sammy was far enough into his headspace that he would not let it panic him. Dean could be unintentionally cruel when he was struggling to be little. 

"You can call Daddy tonight, and talk to him," Cas explained to him, threading his foot through one of the leg holes of his pull-up. "But tomorrow you can play with your brother, and you will have fun... right?"  

Cas's hope for calmness was crushed when he saw Sammy's body physically tense up at the realization. The angel was about to reassure him but before he could, Sammy shot up like a bullet into a sitting position.

 "B-But Daddy!" Sammy half-shrieked. "I can't...D-Daddy...he doesn't know about any of my..." Another slow blush spread across Sammy's face as he averted his eyes away from Cas. The young hunter seemed to have a lot of difficulty saying the next part. "...a-about my accidents. What is he going to say? Especially if he's gunna be little! Daddy, it won't work" 

Sammy's breathing was getting faster and the angel could see small hints of tears in his baby boy's eyes.

"No... no baby..." Cas tried to sooth him. He had the pull-up half way up his legs when Sammy sat up, so instead of trying to work it the rest of the way up he sat down to hold Sammy.

"I'll deal with Dean, both little and big," Cas tried to console him but Sammy was wiggling frantically. "Shhh... calm down."

When that didn't work, Cas added a firmer inflection to his tone. "Samuel..." 

The stern use of his name seemed to go over Sammy's head as the little boy kept flailing in his lap, seeming to panic more as his Daddy tried to hold him still. His breathing getting quicker and quicker as he tried to get across his point.

"N-No! Listen to me!" Sammy pleaded, his voice hitching. "Daddy hates seeing you change me into a night time pull-up, and that was before I started to use them! He's gunna flip when he sees what I'm doing!"

Cas was taken aback by Sammy's words. He very rarely used such a demanding tone with Cas, especially not when he was little. Cas took a steadying breathe ad reminded himself to be patient and forgiving; he knew that this was only brought about by Sammy's frantic thoughts.

"Sammy, you need to calm down and stop shouting at Daddy..." He soothed as he attempted settle boy on his lap but the young Winchester would not have it, long limbs flailing as he fought fruitlessly to get off Daddy’s lap. 

"Your Daddy does not mind your night time pull-ups!" Cas finally told him firmly, reaching up to rub his wrinkled brow in frustration. It was true. Daddy Dean had gotten over that a while ago, he even put them on Sammy a few times. Sam had obviously forgotten this in his moment of panic. There was some truth to it though and Sam had a point. Cas was not sure how Dean would react now that Sammy had decided to use his pull-ups. Dean had become much more open minded then that day on the swing set, but still there was no way that Cas could predict his reaction. 

"I promise you," Cas tried to sooth him one more time. "I will handle your brother. This is between you and me right now. You're my little boy. Nothing changes. Your accidents are okay."

Sammy slowly forced himself to settle as Cas wrapped his arms more tightly around his tall frame. He still shook slightly, but his bellowing had slowed to a stop. Everything was still for a few moments, and Cas could feel his vessel's heart quicken. Things could go one of two ways with this kind of silence. Sam could settle and find comfort in his words, or continue to kick and scream and force Cas to deliver some swats he really didn't want to give right now. 

A wall of relief hit Cas when Sammy finally shifted and placed his slightly trembling head on his Daddy's shoulder. A sniffle quickly emitted from the little boy as he wiped his eyes roughly with the heels of palms, and then slowly nodded.

"...O-ok." Sammy whispered weakly.

Cas raised his eyebrow slightly at Sam, wondering where the fight in him had gone, but he definitely heard the exhaustion in his voice. It was late, and Sammy had been through a lot today, trying to adjust to this new pull-up situation. The mini-tantrum only gave him the slightest burst of energy, but the sleepiness quickly returned. Cas thanked his father above that Sammy had adapted so well to needing more hours of sleep. 

"Good boy," he praised the submission with a kiss to his damp hair. Then, without further ado, he laid Sammy back down to finish getting him dressed for bed. He patted Sammy's hips gently and the boy naturally lifted them so the pull-up could go into place. Cas squeezed the material gently, letting Sammy remember the comforting feeling of the padding between his legs. 

He saw Sammy struggle to accept it, but once he did... the boy's whole body relaxed into the bed.

Cas managed to get him in his sleeper before he nearly passed out. It always surprised him how quickly Sammy could go from one hundred miles a minute to a blubbering mess because he was exhausted. It was just a side effect of being little, Cas assumed.

The angel slid him up the bed till he was resting on the pillow that Dean normally slept on. "Do you still want to call Daddy, little one?" 

And much to Cas's surprise, Sammy shook his head at the offer. Instead, the little boy just rubbed at his eyes more and brought his knees up to his chest to nestle further into the soft bedding. 

"No, thank you..." Sam mumbled tiredly as he rolled his head into the pillow. "I just want Colt so I can go to sleep..."

Oh this was concerning, Sammy not wanting to call Dean before bed? The younger brother was always so eager to check in with his older brother, big or little. Cas just hoped that this was due to Sammy being so tired and not from something else.

Maybe Cas should have paid more attention to it, but he wanted to hope that Sammy was just tired. They had a long day, and Sammy had taken the change so well. His mind had to be exhausted.

Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to Sammy's forehead. "I will be right back with your dragon and your Cuppy of warm milk," he whispered, and he pulled the sheet up to Sammy's chin. "Do you need anything else little one?" 

Sammy whined loudly at Daddy still fussing so much with him. He was tired. He just wanted to sleep. Too much happened today and Sammy desperately needed a break. 

Cas then used his other hand to reach out and try to rouse an answer out of his boy, but was only met with another loud fussy whine and a very weak shove of the hands. The angel quickly pulled away. Sammy was obviously getting into a cranky mood from fatigue and asking him more questions was only going to make it worse. 

The angel studied Sammy, intently. Such a fussy little boy for being so compliant earlier. He sighed. This was just the ups and downs of being Daddy to the Winchesters. Tomorrow was going to be a challenge; managing two very difficult Winchester boys. How hard could it be really? He had faced archangels before.... certainly Dean and Sammy could not break him.

Cas swatted Sammy’s padded behind lightly. "I'll be right back with your things, please loose the attitude before I return."

He fluttered away, leaving Sammy with his thoughts for a few minutes while he heated the milk and retrieved Sammy's soft blanket and his beloved dragon. 

By the time Cas arrived back, he had to sigh. The only thing Sammy managed to accomplish in his few minutes of thinking time was curling up into a tighter ball. The little boy was barely conscious, but blinked wearily when Daddy returned. Sammy's hands snaked out from under the blanket and reached out for his Cuppy and dragon.

Cas handed the items over without preamble, he was eager for the little boy to go to sleep, and hopefully awaken in a better mood. 

Sammy positioned his blanket next to his cheek, tucked Colt under his arm, and promptly slipped the rubber straw of the cup into his mouth and sucked.

Cas smiled at how naturally Sammy had adopted a quick routine with those three items. Reaching forward, he brushed back Sammy's hair.

"Good night, sweet boy," he coed down to him. "Daddy will be back when everything is cleaned up and then I will be right beside you all night reading." 

Cas saw the slightest nod from his little boy before the little hunter eye’s unfocused and then closed. Sammy just continued to sleepily—yet eagerly—sip down his warm milk. The comforting sensation of the drink was soon too much for the baby boy, and Sammy was fast asleep in 30 seconds flat. Cas would be lying if he said he wasn't impressed with the new record.  
  
Cas took the sippy cup from the large pair of hands and wiped the excess droplets of milk that escaped from Sammy's slightly agape mouth. Now that Sammy was sleeping peacefully, it was time to get some work done. A sleeping little boy meant there would be ample time to clean the house. With one final check and tuck in of his boy, the angel set off to his chores.  
  
However between cleaning up the thrown about toys and a rather interesting documentary about bees, Cas lost track of his time downstairs after a few hours. He assumed Sammy would be ok; the boy was exhausted when he fell asleep. So the angel gave himself a few minutes of alone time on the couch while his little one slept upstairs.  
  
But little did Cas know that Sammy had started to stir in his sleep and soon enough, the little eyes drooped open. With a small, confused whine Sammy rubbed at his eyes groggily, wondering why it was still dark in his room. Then the answer hit him as he felt a sudden surge of desperation hit his lower stomach. Sammy's body jumped slightly at the strange feeling and quickly threw his hands down to hold himself before his body could make any decisions for him. When he did that however, his fingers were met with the padding between his legs. 

That's right...he could just use the pull-up his daddy gave him. Sammy actually gave a small smile at the thought. He could just go, and go right back to sleep. No worries or messes, just sweet comfort and rest, just like how it was earlier with Daddy. Having a night accident...like a real toddler would do. 

_Or like a freak with a diaper fetish would do._

Sammy felt his heart drop. What was that...?

_Enjoying pissing yourself? You gunna shit yourself next?_

No...Sam didn't like it like that...it’s just...what little boys do...

_But you're not a little boy. Are you?_

Sammy's hands began to shake against the outside of his pull-up; the padding starting to feel dirty rather than soft and comforting as it had a minute ago.  The shaking in his hands forced Sam to notice how large his hands truly were. They were a pair of man's hands, not little hands as Sam had been imagining a second ago. Sammy's breathing got a bit heavier, and his skin became tighter. He really was a ...large guy.

  _Not a baby? You wanna be a baby? A drooling one who needs a 'daddy' to wipe your ass?_

Everything was starting to feel dangerously hot, as if Sammy's skin was being held under boiling water. No, no. This was all fine. It had to be fine. Daddy said it was. He knew he wasn't a baby but it just...felt good, and Daddy loved him.  
  
 _So he took away your potty privileges? Tell a grown man he has to piss himself...But then again. You wanted to. Make more messes for people to clean up, cause that's the only thing you can do. Screw up and hope that the others won't abandon you. Oh, but Dean can't, cause you're family. But if you weren't, he would have hunted you down years, demon boy. Same goes for precious daddy. You know? The same one who called you an abomination? He had to be told not to kill you, cause angels were disgusted by the fact you were even born. Cause you're just a demon-blooded freak, trying to be human. Or even better, a freak trying to convince himself the people who are stuck with him actually care about him._

Sam wasn't sure when he started crying or trembling so badly, but he could barely move. What was he doing? What was he doing to Dean? To Cas? Crying all the time, making them take care of his every little need? And now...he was seriously expecting Cas, an angel of God, and his older brother's fucking boyfriend, to wipe urine off his ass cause Sam wanted to start pissing himself? They couldn't even say no, because Sam was blood-related. Nothing else. Hell, his own father told Dean that Sam wasn't even worth that much trouble, and just to kill him if it got too bad!

So, no. No more. No more of this little boy shit. Sam's an abomination, and nothing more. Nobody should ever have to do anything for him; some demon-blooded evil freak is not worth anything, let alone full-care. Sam should be the one helping others, to try to make up for the fact he was born. That's why he's a hunter. Not some man trying to pretend he was a baby. He had to save others, not ask them for more chances after he screwed up. 

After a giant breath in, Sam sat straight up in the large bed, knocking the stuffed dragon off of his chest and into his lap. With a glare of regret at the soft toy, Sam took Colt and threw him into the wall in front of him. He then stood with very shaky legs onto the cold floor below. As he did, the soft crinkle of the pull-up could be heard, and Sam was reminded of the aching pressure of his full bladder.

There was definitely not going to be a repeat of earlier. Sam stripped off his sleeper, leaving it crumpled on the floor at his feet, then hooked his fingers into the tear-able sides of his pull-up and tore the stupid baby item off with a loud rip. Like the dragon, Sam threw it violently onto the ground below him. Sam knew he should be coming to his senses, but he just could not stop sobbing. Now, naked, the combination of trembling and body-wracking sobs was making Sam's bladder throb more and more. The man wobbled on his feet from the pressure and swayed in misery, his hair sticking sloppily to his wet snotty face from all the movement. Sam tried to take a deep breath but only coughed loudly from the panic in his body. Knowing it wasn't going to get any better, Sam started to speed-walk out of the room and to the bathroom at the end of the hall. No more diaper shit, no more little boy lies, Sam was going to start to act like the hunter he was supposed be.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Here is the much awaited Chapter Four.  
> 2\. I do not have much to say about it, other then, sorry it took so long.  
> 3\. Chapter Five is nowhere close to being completed. We haven't given up on SSV yet, but things are coming a lot more slowly.  
> 4\. Check out the blog, its cool! (You can find the link in previous chapters)  
> 5\. As always... thank you to my best buds and lights of my life, Stacy and Kelly for doing your part. ^_^

 

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Normally, Cas would wait to see if Sammy quieted on his own before rushing to his side. Both of the boys were troubled with night terrors and it was not strange to hear them fuss in their sleep. This sound was different, and Cas instantly grew concerned when he heard the choking sobs coming from the room he shared with Dean. He had rushed up the stairs just in time to see Sammy's naked bottom disappear into the bathroom. Cas blinked at the closed door for a moment, trying to gain insight in how to handle this.

Sammy would never deliberately disobey him, which meant that Sammy was no longer Sammy but his adult counterpart. Then again, with all that sobbing, it didn’t seem possible. This instant was obviously very difficult and not a smooth transition from Sammy to Sam. He didn’t even have to look into Sammy's mind to know that this was a Winchester special. It was the little nickname that Cas had decided to call these spells since he saw Dean throw a fit the first night he was a little boy.

It was only normal for someone to struggle with such dramatic new roles in their life, and the Winchester's lived up to that ten-times fold. Whatever it was; their past, their pride, their stubbornness, that thing inside them which caused these demons to appear in their head, it made them fight themselves and what they wanted in life. Being Cas' little boys was no exception. Dean fought his inner little boy every chance that he got, and per tradition, whatever Dean did, Sammy had to try out. 

With a sigh, Cas pinched the bridge of his nose and counted to ten. He wished he could fix all of this so they did not fight so hard. If only he could wave his angel mojo hand and make all the problems fix themselves, but he couldn’t. All he could do was be supportive and continue on with this therapy as they had planned.

He tapped on the door lightly. "Sammy," he whispered gently. "Can Daddy come in, please?" 

"Cas, j-just knock it off"

This was the last thing Sam wanted to deal with right now, especially in this state of mind. But he knew he had to get this over with. Tell Daddy...Cas. That this was over for him. This treatment was suppose to be Dean's comfort and stabilizing therapy, but then Sammy had to butt in, as usual. Now, it could go back to how it was supposed to be. Sam was going to tell Cas he was going to sleep in his adult room, and no more toys, no more...

There was too many thoughts swimming in Sam's head and he was surprised he was able to choke out that sentence to the angel. This was especially surprising since Sam was trying to balance himself in front of the toilet on wobbly legs. But he barely managed to gain his footing by leaning a hand on a nearby wall before he finally relieved himself.

It was weird to actually stand and go instead of sitting like Dad...Cas always insisted.

As soon as he was done though, Sam's shaking legs simply gave out and he plopped down onto the cold bathroom titles below. He cried out at the sudden fall but quickly threw his hands up to cover his mouth and wipe the tears spilling out of his eyes. He felt like a mess right now, but he knew he had to stay strong if he was going to show Cas that he had to be big now. His head was spinning too much to even keep talking and he was thankful that there was door separating him and the angel.

Luckily, a door was nothing to an angel of the lord. He could have smashed through it, flew threw it, picked the lock like Dean had taught him, but fortunately he didn't have to do any of those things. Sam had conveniently forgotten to lock the door. 

Cas gently pushed the door open and peered in. He saw Sam on the floor in a collapsed, blubbering mess. His first instinct was to snatch him up into a tight hug, but Sam, not Sammy, had just called him Cas. The angel had to be more delicate. Finding a cloth on the sink, he ran it under the cold water. 

"Sammy..." Cas spoke gently as he knelt down, reaching out with the cold cloth. "What is the matter, little one?" 

Sam physically winced when Cas came into his sight and pushed away the rag with his large hands. As he did that, an uncomfortable breeze ran over his body and made Sam remember that there was nothing covering his private parts. With a loud squeak, Sammy's hands flew down to preserve himself. 

"GET OUT!" Sam shrieked in an ear-splitting tone through tears and sobs.

This was not how he wanted Cas to see him. There were not going to be any more little boy moments! Sam needed to be big!

However, to the angel, Sammy was just melting further and further. His hair was frazzled and sticking messily to his cheeks and nose, all the while his breathing became more and more unstable as his chest heaved along with it. Even with all the shaking, Sammy was still shoving Cas away whenever the angel tried to reach towards him. The boy was a complete wreck.

Cas stood there, blinking at Sammy for a moment. Then to Sam's surprise, Cas sat down on the bathroom floor too. Leaning his back against the sink cabinet gave him a very clear view of the sobbing Winchester, it also blocked Sammy's escape path if he tried to run again. Looked like they were having this conversation here, on the bathroom floor. Oh well....

"Sam," Cas began gently and his heart panged with guilt when he saw Sam jump at the sound of his voice. "Earlier... I told you that if you did not want this that you could not just tell me with your lips. You had to tell me with your head and your heart too."

Sam made a sound as if he was sputtering to interrupt, but Cas growled low in his throat, causing the young hunter to fall silent. 

"I make an addition to that statement," Cas added, more gently then the growl seconds before. "If I look into your head right now, it would have to be Sam telling me that he does not want this. Not Sam being influenced by his demons." 

Sam put his hands on either side of his forehead, as if he could block Cas out. A childish gesture, Cas noted, and he knew that Sammy was not as far away as he would like the angel to believe.

"It also doesn't matter what your head says," Cas went on, reaching out to tap his chest. "Your heart tells me otherwise."

Sam was sobbing again, twisting and turning painfully on his spot on the floor. He wanted to escape, to get away from Cas' know-it-all, self-righteous voice.  He was just about to tell Cas to go shove his angel mojo up his holy ass when he felt a gentle hand on his thigh, and heard Cas speaking in soft, comforting whispers.

"You're hurting right now," he said, as he had said many times before. "Let Daddy help you." 

For a moment, when the young hunter stared at Cas, the angel saw Sammy's eyes. They were wide, wet, and completely terrified, but they were little. Just as quickly as the headspace appeared, it disappeared and Sammy was gone. Sam returned and violently shoved Cas' hands off his body, then went back to holding his own head. His legs then began to twist together and cross as he tried to cover himself up even more.

Sam couldn’t look naked; he couldn’t look so helpless. He needed to be big. He needed to show Dad-CASTIEL that his head and heart agreed with him. This needed to stop.  Sam needed to stop pretending that he needed this treatment. He had to stop forcing others to do this.

"NO!! I don't want this!!!" Sammy wailed ear-splittingly loud. He bent over, trying to hide his face in his tangled legs. His arms wrapped tighter around his head, and Cas could almost see the internal battle of the two mindsets inside Sammy's head. 

"You're not a daddy!!! You're not _my_ daddy!!!" Sammy continued to scream. "I'm not a baby! I'm a hunter!!!"

"I'm not your-" Cas stumbled, dumfounded over the words. It took him a few seconds to regain his composure after feeling like his heart had been ripped out.  Swallowing back his own vulnerability, he made up his mind to do something that would surprise them both. A move that, up until now, he had only pulled with Dean. Cas was going to spank Sammy's demon's away. The spanking he meant to deliver would be very light smacks to Sammy's chubby cheeks. Sammy didn’t need pain like Dean did. The position over Daddy's lap accompanied with a slight sting would be effective enough for Sammy. 

Making up his mind, he reached forward for Sammy's bicep to pull him over his lap, right there in their in the middle of the bathroom floor. Sam pulled against him, but it took only a slight push of Cas' angel strength and Sammy was upended over his legs. Sammy could kick and squirm and yell as much as he wanted, but this was going to happen. Cas had tried being kind. He had tried being firm. Now it was time to try this. It had always worked for the oldest Winchester, now it was time to try his luck with the younger one.

 "Now," Cas settled his hand on Sammy's pale cheek, the other arm circling his waist to keep him from fighting his way off the angel's lap. "Daddy and Sammy are going to have a talk. Sam is not allowed to interfere. This is between Sammy and his Daddy." 

Before Sammy could protest, Cas lifted his hand and brought it down crisply. There was more sound than there was sting. The point was to get Sammy's attention, not to hurt him. 

Even though pain was not the intention, Sammy screamed out as if Cas had stabbed him with a knife. In Sammy's mind, this was the worst possible thing that Cas could do to him right now. He didn't deserve a spanking! Spankings were for doing something naughty and Sammy wasn't even being bad! No...he wasn't even suppose to be little right now. He had to be big! 

"I am NOT Sammy!!!" Sammy yelled as he tried to kick his way out of his Daddy's grip. "My name is SAM!!! AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!!!"

"How unfortunate, Samuel," Cas said dismissively. Nothing that Sammy wailed in this moment would distract Cas from the task at hand. Sammy was carrying on as if Cas was ACTUALLY spanking him; though his hand was barely even leaving marks as it rose and fell repeatedly on Sam's jiggling cheeks. He observed his target, it was barely even pink. Sammy had taken harder spankings before, and his dramatics were a clear sign of how close to the surface his little boy mindset was. 

"I'm afraid that I will not let you up, little one," he told Sammy, and for a moment he stopped spanking and rubbed his bum gently. "Not until you can honestly tell me, with you heart and your head, that you do not want me to be your Daddy..."

Sammy opened his mouth to object and Cas interrupted him with a very firm slap to his upended hindquarters. "Not with your lips," he corrected. Sammy fell silent again, his whole body rigid with frustration. They both knew that Sammy's words were only words, at least Cas knew that. Sammy was going to need to be reminded. 

"I need to know what naughty things your demon's have been telling you Sammy," ordered Cas firmly, patting the muscular cheeks over his lap as a gentle reminder that there was more spanking in store for him if he chose to disobey. "Tell me. Now." His voice left no room to argue.

"You're not listening to me!!!" Sammy screamed at the top of his lungs, his legs kicking wildly as he tried to knock Daddy’s hand off his bottom.

This wasn't happening. Dean was the one who to get these kinds of spankings, the kind where you have to talk about absolutely everything, but most especially about the bad thoughts. The thoughts Sammy was having weren’t bad; they were a revelation, or at least he deemed them as such. They were right about everything they said about Sam; he was asking for too much. He didn't deserve this, and he was sick for expecting his older brother's boyfriend, of all people, to take care of his...b-bathroom needs. It was disgusting; he was disgusting. 

"I don't want to do this, Cas!" Sam yelled as he continued to struggle. "No spankies! I don't need it!" He was mixing terminology now and Cas knew he had to be set straight. This was becoming dangerous and Cas had a feeling there was something terrible brewing in Sammy's head to make him act out this much. 

"On the contrary, Samuel," Cas corrected him as he began to spank Sammy again. This time Cas picked up the pace and the intensity of his swats. "I'm listening to what you're not saying. Which is, by far, more important." 

He angled his hand, smacking the soft, sensitive under curve of Sammy’s bottom, the spots that he knew that would get the boy's attention the most. Sammy yelled in indignation, his legs flailing all about. He even tossed his hand back in an attempt to prevent Cas from raining down his berating swats. Cas easily pushed his hand away and continued, unphased. 

"Abomination? Don't need Daddy to wipe your ass? What a sick freak you are for pissing yourself? Hmmm?" Cas lectured as he proceeded to turn Sammy's backside cherry red. "Are those the words floating around in my little boy's mind?"   

Sam screamed bloody murder as Cas recited the voice's words. It was painful enough to hear it the first time, but now hearing Daddy saying it, it was too much. He already knew he was disgusting, but he felt even worse hearing it out loud. Cas could feel him cringing and twisting in his lap.

"Stop saying that!!" Sam cried out, but sobs were starting to choke his words. "O-Out of my head!! Y-You do-on't know anything!!"

Cas should not be in his head. This was for Sam to figure out, not Daddy, and definitely NOT that stupid baby Sammy. Sam is not a baby, he has to be a hunter. 

"This is for you to figure out?" Cas repeated his thoughts, making it clear that he was not getting out of Sammy's head anytime soon. Not as long as Sammy refused to volunteer the information. 

"You are wrong about that, little boy." Cas paused spanking for a moment. This was Sammy, not Dean. This had to be handled with extreme care. With Dean he would spank until he pushed Dean off the little cliff. Sammy was different. He was already off the cliff and hanging onto the edge with white knuckled fingers. Cas had to pry off one finger at a time so that Sammy could fall back into his little boy role where he could be comforted and loved. Taking a deep breath, Cas resumed spanking. First, he needed Sammy to listen to him, and that wasn’t going to happen until he was a thoroughly spanked and contrite little boy over his Daddy’s lap. 

"I know everything," Cas corrected his earlier statement, adding hard swats to make his point. "I know that you are exactly where you need to be. Over your Daddy's lap being spanked like a naughty little boy."

Sammy howled and blubbered. Cas scoffed at his behavior. For trying to be an adult, he sure was putting up a little boy fuss.

"I'm in control, right now," Cas reminded him. He stopped spanking and rubbed the warm skin. "Not you. Not your demons. Not Sam. Not Sammy. Me. Do you hear me? Tell me... who's in control?" Cas left his hand resting on the well spanked flesh, a gentle reminder that Cas could pick up spanking at any time. "Answer me, little boy." 

Sammy had cried out at every one of the Daddy's painful swats; his bottom felt like it was being lit on fire. His head was pounding and his body was trembling from the scariness of the whole situation. The last thing he wanted was even more stinging swats applied to his already sore behind and saying the wrong thing right now was going to lead to just that. So Sammy swallowed some of his pride and mumbled in the quietest voice that he could.

"...D-Daddy is."

Sam wasn’t sure how much he believed that the angel was in control, but he did know he didn't want to call him Daddy anymore. He just really did not want any more pain inflicted on his bottom, so the struggling slowly came to a stop and he put his head down on the cool tile floor. No more hurting; Sam just wanted for Dadd- CASTIEL to stop talking to him. He wanted to be alone.

Cas was not fooled. He knew that Sam was only saying the things that he wanted to hear so the spanking would stop.  That didn’t matter, it meant that Sam was being obedient and he was listening, and that was all Cas needed from him. So he stilled his hand and began to gently rub the sting away.

"Good boy," he praised, and he watched Sammy's body seize up at the loving tone. Sam thought he deserved nothing. This was not about the pull-up's and Sam's disgust for them. That was a cover up for Sam's real problem. Sam Winchester thought he didn’t deserve to be cared about or loved or taken care of. That seemed to be a good place to start; it was deep, but it was important to get to the heart of the matter. Cas began to chip away at his defenses.

"Alright, little one," as he spoke, he dared to let go of Sam's waist, hoping the boy was out of physical fight. His free hand began to weave its way through Sam's messy head of hair, still slightly damp from his bath earlier. "You're safe. There are no voices inside your head, no demons. Just you and Daddy. Daddy loves you very much."

Sam sobbed again, as if the word love had stabbed him in the stomach. Cas swallowed back his own tears. "You know better then to believe them, Sam. You're not sick. You're not gross. You're my little boy. These are the things I ask you to do, because it makes us both happy. Those voices are trying to take away the things that make you happy, Sammy. Why do you think the demons don't want you to be happy, baby boy?" 

Sammy continued to cry, unable to form any words with panic and fear roiling inside of him. How was he supposed to believe Cas? His real father had said that he loved him so many times, but in the end had said that his son was not worth saving. That Sam was better off being killed.

And Sam didn’t want to believe the same lie twice. So, with his guard held high, Sammy tried to block out Cas's words but still responded to the last question with a wordless headshake. But Sam knew the answer already. The voice was just trying to stop Sam before he screwed up again. 

Cas was still in Sammy's head, and he heard every thought. He knew that Sam would think about John, it was inevitable. Everything that John Winchester had done had set Sammy up to be the insecure, whimpering boy currently over his lap. Cas hated him more and more as they went on. 

"No, Sammy," Cas shook his head sadly. "I want to hear your words. I want you to answer Daddy."

Sammy clenched his bottom in preparations for more spanking, as if Cas was displeased with him. Instead, Cas continued to rub. "No more spankings right now. Answer the question, baby." 

"I-I don't know why the voice is trying to hurt me!" Sammy blubbered quickly, feeling tense with Daddy's hand on his bottom. He hoped that Daddy just accepted the answer and didn't pry anymore. It was so much easier for Daddy to just talk at him instead of Sammy talking. He just wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. This was too much to talk about right now.

"I-I don't know! Really!" Sammy kept crying, but Cas could hear right through his lies.

Cas' hand rose above Sam's bottom again, but it froze in mid-air. Should he really be pushing Sammy this hard? This was Sammy. His sweet, little boy. Sam had never fought him like this before; maybe he should push him off his lap and let him go. Maybe Sammy really did want to be done, and Cas was only projecting he own desires onto Sammy. Maybe Cas was spanking him unfairly. 

"Sammy," he started, though his voice cracked a little. He had to swallow back his fear and push forward. Sammy's objections were all verbal, he heart was crying out for his Daddy to fix all of this and make it better.

"Think really hard, Samuel," Cas began again, his firm Daddy voice back. "Daddy does not want to spank you again. I want your mind with me, so while you are thinking, you better think with your little boy head... not thinking with the voices. Do you understand?"

By now, Sammy's kicking and struggling had stopped and the only movement in the hunter's body was the violent trembling from the force of his sobs. The boy was a shaking leaf in his Daddy's lap and he only continued to cry harder. Sam couldn't help it; the mixture of stinging in his bottom and the spinning of his head was overwhelming. However, even through his tears and wobbly lip, Sammy managed to respond to his daddy.

"I-I-I don't wa-ant to u-use little he-head." Sammy bawled. However, Cas felt his baby boy's finger nails dig into his pant leg, seeking some kind of comfort. Sam's little was showing and was begging symbolically for solace. But the outside was different. "N-No little head...I-I f-f-feel gross-s."

That was a start, and Cas removed his hand from Sammy's pink backside to rub his lower back, a clear sign to Sam that the spanking was on hiatus as long as Sam was willing to talk. Cas made no effort to move Sam off his lap though, a physical reminder to Sammy of the safe and secure place that his little boy headspace provided. 

"Do you think you are gross?" Cas asked, patting his head lovingly. "Or do the voices tell you that? You know better, you know that Daddy doesn't think you are gross... So you should not feel gross either." 

Sammy buried his face in his arm, but his neck and ears began to tingle with happiness at the comforting touch from Daddy’s hand on his head. Cas felt the boy's body slowly relax and grow more limp on his lap. The tortured sobs, however, continued to make his long body and strong shoulders tremble madly.

"I-I..." Sammy cried softly into his own skin. He paused and swallowed messily, trying to get the next words out. "...Th-The voices said i-i-it, b-but they're right.  I-It's too m-much t-to ask from y-you...and why shouldn't I-I feel gross?"

He swallowed again and tightly squeezed his wet eyes closed.

"I-I'm...pissing myself. A-And making you...clean it." 

Cas tried to understand the shame again. He did not understand the boys overwhelming desire for modesty anymore then he did any other human emotions. It always seemed that Sam and Dean fought this mostly out of embarrassment, and it channeled into fear. Cas was still trying to figure out what they were afraid off. This was not a demon or a monster that they had to fight. There was no worry for death, or curses, or making deals with the devil. What he did for the boys he equated to the human emotion of love? Why was love shameful? 

The angel attempted to reason it out in his own mind. This was not something that a majority of human's do. Regressing to a toddler like state did not come with its own operating manual like the dishwasher or the blender. The human brain follows no directions or roadmaps, and being in the brain of a Winchester was like treading on thin ice waiting for a land mind to explode at any second. Shame and embarrassment were their land minds, for whatever reason. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that wetting a diaper (pull-up, he corrected, though hopefully it would be diapers soon enough) was not a normal human behavior. He even accepted the fact that it was divergent enough to be weird. However, knowing those things did not stop him from persisting with what Sam needed. 

He did need this, right? Cas was doubting again. Sammy's own fight made him hesitate. He never wanted to force this on them. Consent was something that the angel believed in very much; and without Sam's consent this could not continue. That would be cruel and abusive, not love. And all Castiel had ever wanted to give the Winchester's was an abundance of unconditional love.  To reassure himself, he took a peak into Sam's mind again. 

Sammy's brain was much like an actual child. Most adults process their thoughts without the aid of visual, but both Dean and Sammy thought in elaborate, visual scenarios. Like a dream, or in their case, a nightmare. Dean's thoughts were always concrete, easy to follow... like a bad movie playing over and over in his mind. Sammy was different. His mind, especially when he was in (or so close) to his headspace was chaos. His thoughts were a mirage of colors, feelings, phrases, flashes of consciousness... it was hard to pin point Sammy in his own head. Cas found him though, found what he wanted to know. If this had been Dean, he would have found Dean's image of his little boy self in his head, crying out for Cas to help him. This was Sammy, and Cas had to know what to look for... or in this case listen for. One word. Daddy. 

It was floating around in his mind with the flashes of fear, the voices of his demons, and, surprisingly, the desire for more chocolate ice cream. But it was there. And the feelings that were attached to that one small word told Cas that this was not without Sammy's consent. His little boy just did not remember how to get there and needed help. 

With a relieved sigh, Cas awkwardly bent to kiss Sammy's messy hair.  _I'm here, little one. Daddy will help you get back._

His lips had become dry form nervousness and he licked them before he spoke again, his palm sliding down to Sam's rear.  He massaged the flesh and Sammy's body went rigid at the thought of more spanking. Can didn’t want to continue to spank his baby but he needed to be clear on the fact that he was not pleased with Sammy’s words.

"Ask too much of me?" Cas repeated, his eyebrow raised. "Make me change you?"

He hummed with a sad shake of his head, and Sammy whimpered at the sound. "Do YOU make me do anything, little boy? Is that how our roles work?" 

"...Y-Yes."

Cas paused in confusion. Yes? Sam makes him...What? Wanting more of an explanation, Cas stared at the back of his sniveling baby boy. The angel frowned and placed a warning pat on Sammy's already red bottom.

"What are you talking about, Sammy?"

Sammy was still for a moment before he started to wiggle uncomfortably on Cas's legs. He whined nervously and swallowed.

"You'll just..." Sammy whined in an extremely soft tone. His voice full of fear and heartache. "...You'll just immediately disagree. No matter what, you'll just say it's not true, ‘cause you don't want to say it...cause you have to." 

With a deep sigh, Cas resumed the spanking. Sammy jumped so much from the first swat that he nearly bucked right off of Cas' lap; but Cas pressed him back down without missing a beat. These swats carried more sting; while the earlier ones had been mostly noise and a little sting, this spanking was to correct Sammy words. 

Sammy sobbed harder, if that was even possible. He threw his hands back to protect his backside, kicking and pleading with Cas to stop. Except Cas was not going to stop until he felt that this lesson had been properly learned. He did not tell the boys what he did because he had too, he told them things he did because he wanted too and it was what they needed to hear and what he believed.

In a round about way, Sam had just accused him of lying. Cas was sure that Sam did not see it that way, so he did not scold him for that. It would be to complex for Sam to understand in this intense moment. Right now, Cas just needed to focus on how Sammy did not mean those things and how it was his demons saying that and not him.

"You know that is not true," Cas finally stopped smacking, and started rubbing again. "You know I do not say things because I have too. If I thought you were gross, I would tell you that. 

If Sammy had any bit of calmness left in his body, it left along the screams and cries that ripped through his mouth. Sam was hysterical from shock and the intense swats on his bare bottom and Daddy's firm touch on his beaten flesh. If Cas didn't know about Sammy's dramatic hysterics beforehand, he could have sworn the young hunter was having a seizure of some sort.

"I'M SORRY!" Sammy cried out, as if his Daddy was still swatting him. "I'm sorry, Daddy!!! I'm sorry!!! I'm sorry!!!"

Cas was not quite sure if the little boy actually meant his apologies, or was simply trying to prevent anymore injury to his heiney.

Still...the angel couldn't help but wonder what Sammy meant by 'forcing his Daddy to do something.’ Cas spent a few minutes calming Sammy down. There was no point in talking to Sam when he was in the middle of his little boy theatrics. So he rubbed Sammy's back lovingly, whispering endearments in soothing voice. He even pushed a wave or two of comforting grace into his bawling little one. Cas never understood why Sam was so vocal about his emotions as a little boy and Dean was not. He accepted it, and he loved being the one to dry Sammy's tears and hold him as he cried, but it still puzzled him sometimes. 

Sammy had cried openly from their very first encounter. Dean had watched with wide, envious eyes and Cas had been so surprised that he too just stared at Sam. He had to coax Dean to tears and emotions, so hearing Sam had been a welcome relief. Not that he enjoyed hearing either of his boys in tears, but he knew that it meant they were processing feelings, and they needed this to be about emotional healing as much as about fun. 

It was the main reason that he tolerated the fighting and the tantrums. The boys had never had the opportunity to object or make their feelings known in a situation. John had seen to it that they were good soldiers and followed orders, their emotions aside. Dean was the worst, some days Cas wondered how he even survived. Sam…. Well, he had always had an opinion, he just never got the chance to state it. When he finally did, John sent him away. Cas wasn't like that. It was okay for Sam to have these feelings, even if they were wrong. He took on the difficult task of trying to teach Sammy that sometimes emotions aren't always rational and sometimes that can be all wrong, but that the way we feel is okay. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to feel gross. But...That is not reality. Cas was trying to help Sam reach reality, not punish him for feeling what he felt.

He was still puzzled though. Cas had never forced Sam to do anything. This was something they shared. He called him Daddy and he clung to his trench coat just as much Cas called him little boy and snuggled him close. That statement left him in confusion, and they could go no further until Cas put that puzzle piece together.

"You know that isn't true, Sammy," Cas told him. "I don't force you to do any of this. Why do you think this? Daddy is confused." 

With the small amount of grace flowing through his body, Sammy laid mostly still on his daddy's lap. His bottom was still exposed and a deep red. Despite his severely heated bottom, Sammy was no longer sobbing but was instead reduced to sniffles and deep breaths. However, when his Daddy started questioning him, Sammy turned his face away from him and into the cold tile below.

"...Y-You're gunna spank me if I tell you." Sammy mumbled miserably. "You're gunna get mad again"

Cas considered his little boys words. It was too early in their discussion to promise that there would be no more spanking. It depended on Sammy's head, and if he mentally stayed with Cas or not. Cas gave the well-smacked bottom a gentle rub, and noted that it was not THAT red. Even though Sammy carried on as if it was the worst spanking he had ever received.

"I have finished the majority of your spanking, Samuel," Cas assured him, giving the glowing round globes a pat. "Whether you get anymore spanks or not will depend on if you start listening to those demons or not. I will not spank you for speaking to me as Sammy. If you are answering the question by your own words, not the demons, then I won't spank you. Staying over my lap will help you remember that I am the Daddy and I am the one who is in control."

He knew the drill. Last time it had been small slaps to his face, not powerful, but none the less effective. 

"So... Answer the question, Samuel." 

Everything became still as Sammy stayed silent. Just as Cas raised his hand to give Sammy a 'keep going' swat, the little boy swallowed messily and spoke.

"I-I...I just feel I'm asking for too much...again"

Sam could feel new tears prickling at his eyes as he tried to not let his nervousness take over; but this had been on his mind for far too long. The demons were just shoving those thoughts closer and closer to the surface of Sam's head, and Sammy couldn't help but listen.

"This was s-suppose to be Dean's coping thing and this was supposed to help him" Sammy choked out painfully, his guilt growing heavier with each word. Before Sam became Sammy and even when Sam didn't know about Cas' daddy role towards Dean, Sam noticed the positive changes in Dean. He had started to try to eat regular meals, to get more than four hours of sleep a night, and his whole attitude had gotten much more pleasant. Sam had been thrilled to see his brother doing much better but was curious to what caused it. After a few weeks of questioning, Cas and Dean finally sat down with Sam and explained their new...way of living. Sam couldn’t remember a time when Dean was so afraid to look him in the eye, and the younger Winchester thought that his brother was going to bolt from the room. He probably would have too if Cas hadn't eventually pulled Dean onto his lap; and it was then that Sam really started to see the extent of how much Cas was trying to help him and how much he cared. Sam had told them that they could do whatever they wanted but on the inside he knew...he wanted the same kind of love that Cas and Dean were sharing.

And, as the demons like to remind him, that had been selfish of him.

"Dean's the one who needs the help, not me. He's taken care of me for my whole life a-and gave up so much to make sure I'm ok." Sammy tensed up more, squeezing his eyes closed as tears dripped down his cheeks. "Now he finally has the chance to b-be little again, since Dad never let him be...and I pushed myself in again and he's still gotta be the big brother."

Sammy brought his hands up to his face to cup his wet and flushed skin, not wanting his Daddy to see his face. “And now, I'm taking you away from him too. I had to a-act so much more little than him so you gotta not take care of him so you can deal with what I want...with my cuppy and Colt...a-and I want to use my pull-ups. I shouldn't have asked you, and I shouldn't have aged down when Dean got hurt!! I made it about me when it should’ve been about Dean! But no...I had to be littler and make him worry all over again. I'm taking this away from him...just like I always do."

Now it made sense, and Cas could keep his composure no longer. He snatched Sammy off his lap, flipping him over and holding him in his arms. Those nasty demons had really done a number this time. 

As Cas held him close and rocked them both back and forth, Sammy continued to cry, dampening the front of Cas’ shirt with tears. Poor, poor Sammy. 

The Winchester boys had an admiral way of putting each other first, Dean sacrificed for Sammy and visa versa. Sometimes it was a very endearing trait; other times it caused one of them to suffer so badly with guilt that Cas had to do an intervention. Sammy wanted this to be Dean's thing. For whatever reason, he felt like he did not deserve it and Dean did. 

Sam felt guilty because he made the situation all about him, and it had been Dean that almost died. Cas understood that. It made a lot of sense, especially for someone that did not get human emotions. 

The part that Sammy refused to believe, or did not know the truth of, was that Dean would not have been able to be little in the few moments after his near death experience. He needed it now, and Cas would provide, but in those moments standing by the car, all of them in sheer panic, it was the right time for Sam to become Sammy. Dean needed to be in control of something, not out of control yet. He needed to care for Sammy and make sure that Sammy was okay. He could not process if he was worried about his baby brother. Sammy had done nothing but the right thing, Dean and Cas knew that. They wanted Sammy to be little when he was afraid or scared. They wanted it to be his automatic reaction. It was a good thing. 

Dean processed differently then Sammy, and always would. They both knew that he would need to be little soon. That he would need Cas to help him fight his demons, but first Dean had make sure things were under control...at least the things he could control. The hunt. Sammy. His life. All of those things were circumstances that he could set right before he dealt with himself. It did not matter if Cas wanted it that way or not, it was how Dean functioned, and the angel would never force Dean to age down until Dean was ready. Then Cas did a hell of a lot of forcing, but only when the time was right. Dean's time would come tomorrow. 

"Oh Sammy," Cas said into the top of Sam's brow. "You have it all wrong, sweet one. Dean and I wanted you to be little. You did not take this from us. We gave you this gift. You did not force any of us to do something we did not want to do. You have to believe me, Sam." 

Cas tucked a strand of Sam's hair away. "I love you. Dean loves you. All we have ever wanted was to make each other happy. Being little makes you happy, we would never change that. We would never keep that away from you, and save it all for ourselves." 

Cas could feel Sammy's large hands quickly clutch onto the front of his Daddy's trench coat as the baby boy shivered in his lap. Sam let out a particularly violent shiver when Cas tucked his hair behind his ear. It was then that Cas noticed that Saw was still completely bare and they'd been lying on the cold bathroom floor for quite some time. The angel had to sigh as Sammy continued to sob into his chest. As emotional as this moment was, and as delicate as Sammy was, they should probably continue this conversation in the warmth of a bedroom with Sammy in some warm pajamas. So, the angel shifted Sam in his arms and went to pick him up, but the little boy suddenly tensed. Sam did not want to budge yet.

"B-But I want you and Dean to be happy more, Daddy." Sammy whispered suddenly into his Cas's frame, still shaking. He buried his head deeper into the angel's chest and Cas was surprised that Sam didn't pop right through him. "I'm just scared that it's gonna be like the first time. Dean's going to make sure that I'm ok all the time and he has to act all grown-up 'cause I'm right here. Dean always had to take care me ‘cause he had to...what if he feels like he has to again? And he can't be little."

Finally, Sammy lifted his head out of Cas and stared at his daddy with his big wet puppy dog eyes. They looked lost and were full of fear. "And you...You're suppose to be Dean's boyfriend and Daddy, but you're gotta stay home and look after me. You didn't even like me when we met, and we only kept talking cause of Dean...and now you wanna start changing me. I-I just don't want you guys to feel like you gotta always have to think about me. I'm not the one who you got sent to save I'm just...Dean's ex-junkie little brother."

Cas had just placed Sam on his feet when the little one sputtered out the last of his thoughts. It was like Sam had just shot him in the heart. "You didn't even like me at first" and "Dean's ex-junkie little brother." It was true, Cas was had not been the most pleasant person around Sam in the very beginning, but he thought he had proved his love for both Winchesters. He had protected and offered his life up for Sam more then once. He hoped that they were more than what they were in that hotel room, a blood junkie and Mr. Comatose. 

On principle, Cas landed a few slaps on Sammy’s naked hindquarters. "Be more aware of where your thoughts are traveling little one," Cas reminded him gently. "I do not want to hear you insult yourself anymore, do you understand?"

Sammy’s chin bobbed up and down as he bit his lip. Cas patted his face lovingly, before bringing his forehead in for a kiss.

Cas guided him down the hall and back into the master bedroom. "I know you do not want your pull-up on now," Cas told him as he turned to grab a pair of lounge pants and a t-shirt. "We will get you into your bedtime attire and then finish our discussion." 

He handed the pants to Sammy, who clumsily tried to pull them up his legs. Eventually he fell into Cas for balance and the angel had to help him finish dressing for bed. "Come cuddle with Daddy on the bed," Cas commanded and Sammy only hesitated a little when Cas pulled him down onto his lap.

Once they were both settled, and he gently pushed Sam's chin down into the crook of his neck, they started their chat.

"Did you know that Dean loves taking care of you?" Cas asked, and he felt Sam shake his head. "He was so happy to see you be little. You are not taking anything away from him. I know when he needs to be little, and that is not something for you to worry about. I take care of Dean's need just like I take care of yours. He loves being your Daddy, even though he will never tell you. He loves being my little boy too, and that is not going to stop because we have you. You make us happy."  He nuzzled his face into Sam's hair. 

"I know things were..." He paused, searching for the right word. "Rough for us in the beginning, but things were different then. You were not my little boy then, neither was Dean. While I knew I loved both of you before we changed our relationship, once we started this it was like a, what is the expression? Blank slate? I suppose that is how a father feels when they see their child for the first time. An unexplainable, unconditional love. It was..." He paused once again to search for the right phrase. "... I realized that I had never loved anyone more then I loved you and your brother. I love taking care of you. I love helping you with whatever it is that you need. If you want to wet your pull-up's, then I will clean them. If you want to have a bedtime story at night, I will read them to you. This is not just about you Sammy, I want this too. Dean wants this. We have never been more of a family. It hurts me to hear you say those things, Sammy. All I ever desire for you to feel is love in this house." 

The whole time Cas spoke, the angel had his little boy huddled in his arms in a close comfy hold. But Sam's lip was wobbling still with his swollen red eyes scrunched up. Small whimpers escaped through his lips and threatened to turn into more sobs. Everything seemed hazy to him and it felt like Daddy was a million miles away. And his bottom was stinging like crazy, making the little boy shift like uncomfortably in his Daddy's lap.

But, as the conversation went on and Daddy's voice grew more genuine and even a bit broken hearted, Sammy felt himself loosen and his face soften. Small tears rolled down his cheeks but there was no actual sobs. Sam listened intently as Daddy poured his heart out. It was silent after Cas finished, and the angel just stared at his little boy, not knowing what to expect.

Cas opened his mouth to say something else but Sammy suddenly shifted in his lap. Before Cas knew it, Sam had his arms around Cas's neck and had his head buried into his Daddy's shoulder. The young hunter held his Daddy close and Cas could feel his shoulder growing slightly wet.

"...This is just new" Sammy finally mumbled. "...We weren't allowed to ask for anything ‘cause we're hunters. We save people, not the other way around." Sammy stopped to swallow. "...I'm scared ‘cause I don't know what happens when we ask for something.  But...I...I love guys too and I just don't want it to go away. Ever. But I feel like it's gunna be ripped away at any second. B-But...I love you, Daddy. It's weird, but I love you...and just...I'm scared."

Cas understood that feeling. He knew what it was like to have something and then have it ripped away so quickly. Everything about his celestial past was like that. He found out its true meaning and it nearly crushed him. He understood very well the fear and disappointment that Sammy was afraid off. His grip tightened, as he held Sammy close to his chest. His own eyes glossed over again as his hand moved up and down soothingly on Sam's back.

"It is acceptable to be afraid," Cas assured him. "Considering what has happened in your life it is only natural that you worry that you will lose the thing that makes you most happy." 

Cas pressed several kisses on top of Sammy's smooth brown hair as their bodies rocked back in forth in a motion that he knew comforted Sammy.

"I cannot promise you that something more powerful will not rip us apart," Cas admitted sadly. "I just cannot promise things that I have no control over. We live in a world where any one or anything can come after us, but listen to me Samuel..." Cas made sure that there eyes met, his fingers gripping tightly to Sam's chin. "...I will fight for you. I will fight for this. I will not give up what you, Dean, and I have without a fight." He pressed their foreheads together, and listened to Sam's breathing start to slow down. The sobs subsided into sniffles and tiny hitches in his chest. Adorable. "I can promise you another thing... I will never, ever leave you willfully, an act of my Father himself would have to unwillingly pull me from this house." He put his hands on either side of Sam's face and gave it a gentle shake. "I will never, ever hurt you like that. I'm not John. I'm you're Daddy. I love you Samuel Winchester, nothing can take that away from us. No demon, no tantrum, no angel, no voices in your head. It is okay to be afraid, but remember, I am here to take that fear away." 

Sammy stared into his Daddy's deep eyes, and for the first time in a long time, Sam felt completely safe. All the injuries, emotional breakdowns, and permanent scars on his body didn't seem to matter. All that mattered was that Daddy was right here with him and he was going to stay. Sam understood that something big and scary could come and find them, just like it always did but...there was finally someone who wanted to stand with him and his brother. A Daddy. Not a Dad like John was, but an actual Daddy; someone who would think about them before anything else instead them trying to protect the entire world. For once, they were allowed to live for themselves.

All because of Daddy.

But how was Sammy supposed to tell Daddy how much this meant? The Winchesters were never good at explaining feelings or even expressing them. A lifetime of killing had ensured that. The extent of Dean and Sam's loving family moments were silent but mutual head nods to one another and EXTREMELY rare hugs. But now it was different, and affection was shown outright and very personal. Sam and Dean did their best to adjust, but there were times that the brothers were at a loss as to what to say. Like right now. What could Sammy say that would show Daddy how much this helped?

"...C-Could I have my pull-up?"

Cas smiled, his hand running down Sammy’s cheek lovingly. He knew that Sammy wanted to say more, but could not find the right words. This was good enough for both of them. The fact that Sammy was willingly asking for the object that he had just put up such a fight over. 

"Of course, baby boy," Cas answered, his voice full of smiles. He did not want to let go of Sammy though, and laying the Winchester out on the end was hard. Sammy whimpered at the separation of their touch, and Cas leaned in for another soft kiss to his forehead. "I am just going to get you a pull-up. I will be only a few feet away."

Sammy held onto his shirt for as long as he could. Finally, when Cas was out of his reach, Sammy fell back with a little squeak and instinctively brought his fingers up to his lips in a desperate attempt to level out his headspace.

Cas found him, sucking on his middle two fingers and his pinky and index finger on either side of his mouth, resting on his cheeks. He did not remove them, allowing Sammy to have his comfort take comfort in the rhythmic sucking.

Cas sat down on the edge of the bed and Sammy scooted closer to him. With another grin Cas patted Sammy's hip and the boy lifted up so that his Daddy could pull his lounge pants down and off. 

The angel watched the familiar blush creep up his skin and he decided to make this quick in order to spare Sammy some of the normal humiliation. Cas quickly applied some powder and swept the pull-up up his long legs without ceremony. The lounge pants followed and Cas was eagerly to collected Sammy into arms again, allowing Sammy to continue sucking on his fingers.

"This was a hard talk," Cas said as if he were talking to no one in particular. Sammy agreed with him by adding a tiny whimper and a nod of his head. "I bet little ones are very sleepy and ready for bed?"

Sammy responded with a loud slurp of his fingers and a small nod with half-lidded eyes.  It must have been at least three am when Sammy had been put down around nine. That combined with the spanking and extreme emotional distress made for one very exhausted little boy.  

But with the little energy he had left, Sam shifted in his Daddy's and felt the familiar padding and crinkle between his legs.  And just like it had in the beginning, Sam felt a comfort wash over him. The young hunter smiled at the sensation then sleepily laid his head on his Daddy's shoulder, where it was safe. There was still a harsh ache in his long body from all his screaming and crying earlier and also all the struggling he used to fight Daddy. Now, he just wanted to sleep off the ache and the stinging of the spanking in the safety of his Daddy's arms and his pull-ups.

However, just as Sammy started to close his eyes and relax into Daddy, his eyes suddenly shot open and he bolted upright making Cas's arms let go of him in surprise.

"Colt!!!" Sammy shouted out as he faced Castiel. "Daddy, I threw him when I was being naughty!! I threw him hard!!!"

“Oh no!" Cas played along with the dramatics. "I hope he is alright." He had already begun to pull himself out of Sammy's grasp to go and fetch the beloved dragon. Sammy's fingers went to his mouth again after his sudden outburst as he eyed Cas nervously.

Cas picked the dragon up off the floor and turned him in his hands. He hummed and then brought the dragon up to his ear. "Mmmhmm, what was that?" He pretended to listen to the dragon speak. "Yes, he was very naughty, but we have taken care of that. Oh... right." He nodded in agreement. "Alright... that sounds lovely."

Cas came back to the bed and tentatively held out the dragon to Sammy. "He says that he forgives you...but now he is a little scared. Do you think you can reassure him like I have to reassure you?"   

In a flash the dragon was out of the angel's hands and in Sammy's tight grip. The little boy quickly buried his head into the soft plush and nuzzled it violently.

"I'm sorry, Colt!!!" Sammy cried into the dragon. "I'm so so so sorry! I don't know what I was thinking and I'm sorry! I love you a lot and don't think I don't cause-" Sammy stopped suddenly and held the side of his head. He then looked up at his Daddy with a rather sad and pathetic look. "Daaaddy...My head really hurt...and so does my chest and tummy..."

Of course Sammy's whole body hurt. He was emotionally wrecked. Cas pushed his flyaway strands of hair back before he settled down on the bed next to him. 

Sammy was practically on top of him in seconds, nuzzling his chin into the familiar crook of his neck. Cas patted his back. "Shh, I know everything hurts," Cas whispered. "Daddy will fix it."

And with those words, Cas sent soothing waves of grace through Sam's body, allowing the boy to calm down. He felt Sammy's weight droop on top of him as he relaxed. "All better?"

Sammy nodded, Colt pressed up against his cheek. "Will you stay with me?"

"Of course, baby boy. Daddy is right here." He gave him one final kiss goodnight and then settled down into the pillows with Sammy lying comfortably on his chest. 

Castiel felt Sammy's breathing go softer and softer. The hard grip on the trench coat loosened and Sammy's body relaxed into Daddy's warmth. He felt so safe and wanted in this moment that he wanted it to last forever; but the exhaustion was quickly overpowering him. Without Sam even realizing it, his fingers soon slipped back into his mouth and his eyes drooped close.

Cas soon heard his baby let out small cooing noise as he drifted off. The angel smiled. It was a long night, and an emotional one at that, but they made it.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Sorry that this took so long to write.  
> 2\. Go check out the SSV blog. The link is in previous chapters.  
> 3\. We haven't decided the future of this story or others stories. I will let you know as soon as I do.  
> 4\. Thank you Stacy and Kelly for helping put this all together, it would be nothing without you two.  
> 5\. Enjoy and have a happy holiday!

* * *

 

Cas let Sammy sleep pressed up against him for the rest of the night. He enjoyed listening to the soft breathing, assuring that Sammy was safe. His long body curled into a tight ball, clinging onto Cas. The angel was always amused how such a large man could make himself so small. 

Sam hummed in his sleep as Cas drew him in tighter to his chest.  He had been surprised when Sam had wanted to cuddle with him. Dean was his partner, and was shockingly, a very cuddly sleeper, so there had not been a change in that relationship, but he had expected Sam to be different. Before, they had barely been able to hug without an awkward moment. Humans viewed cuddling as such an intimate act, and the fact that Sam now jumped into bed with Cas so willingly meant that the youngest Winchester had released most of his inhibitions about physical affection. 

Honestly, Cas found himself loving these moments the most. When his boys were quiet and subdued. To him, it was proof that they were happier than they ever had been, and were able to sleep peacefully. 

Early in the morning, Sam still plastered against his side, Cas heard the front door open and close.  He didn’t need to, but he used his angel senses to check. Of course, it was Dean. He was much earlier than expected, but that really should not be a surprise. Dean was stubborn, and when he set his mind to something he did it, even it was against Cas’ wishes. 

Gently, he pried Sammy off of him so that he could settle his brown mane onto a nearby pillow. Cas pulled Sammy’s legs away from his chest to stretch him out, the bones creaked from such a long time in a cramped position. The little boy stirred, but did not awake. Cas made sure to tuck Colt safely into Sam’s arms. 

With a final kiss to Sammy’s warm brow, Cas went to greet his other little one. He closed the bedroom door, if Dean was true to character then there would be a fight, and Cas preferred that Sammy slept through that part. 

Cas found his partner in the kitchen, bent over the sink with a glass in his hand. Cas sighed as he leaned in the doorframe to observe Dean Winchester, on the brink of being lost. Even though his first instinct had been to pour a glass of liquor, Cas could tell that the hunter had yet to take a drink of it. His body language told Cas that Dean was aware of the angel’s presence.  Dean twirled the glass in his fingers, tempting Cas to say something.

The angel waited, letting the silence speak for him. Dean shuffled from foot to foot as the glass rotated in his fingers again. He knew that Cas was behind him; he knew that taking this shot of whiskey was ill advised. Even with all of those factors, they both knew that Dean was going to drink it. That was how Dean functioned. He could not come to Cas willingly, he would have to push him. That was just the nature of his relationship with Dean, and the way that their Daddy and little boy relationship went. Cas would never shame him for needing the extra firmness in the push. It was just how his boy was, and Cas was happy to oblige.

The inevitable moment came and Dean swallowed his whiskey with a loud, purposeful gulp. Cas sighed at the challenge. 

“Alright, Dean Matthew,” Cas called. “Come give me a hug before we begin your spanking.”  
 

Dean had the audacity to laugh at him before he slammed the glass down. He jumped at the sound, and Cas stifled a chuckle. Dean was already jumpy. He knew that he was going to lose. 

“Should I count? Or would you like me to come get you?” Cas suggested. “Or there is the rare chance that you come over to me first. I would prefer the latter, and it would make your spanking less severe.”

“STOP IT!” 

Dean’s outburst startled them both.  They both stood there, blinking in surprise.

“I almost died, Cas,” Dean whispered, putting the glass in the sink. This time gently. “I can have a drink.” 

Cas hummed, allowing the boy to make all the excuses he wanted. Dean had almost died; he was reeling from the moment. Cas knew that. He also knew ever defense tactic that Dean used to fight accepting his need to become little.

“Don’t just ignore what I’m saying!”

“I’m not,” Cas promised him. “I’m just paying attention to what you are not saying.” Funny, he had practically said the same thing to Sammy a few hours before.

"Th-Then you don't understand" Dean croaked as strongly as he could. His eyes were shaky and already beginning to grow wet but were intensely focused on Cas. He had to make his point clear; Dean had to make Cas understand.

 "You can't pull all this daddy shit about 'what you are not saying' cause it ain't gonna help." Dean swallowed. Out of the corner of his eye, the liquor bottle stood. A small sense of temptation rose in his chest but Dean swallowed it back down. His attention went back to Cas.

"If I died there, Sammy would’ve been little and that shit could of scarred him for life when he's in that mindset. You would ‘ve been left alone with that." Dean swallowed again, his limbs slightly trembling. Cas noticed Dean straighten his shoulders, trying to make himself appear less scared than he was. "I had to deal with that guilt the whole rest of the hunt and the ride home, because I screwed up. So please, let me have a GODDAMN drink before you pull anything on me!!!"

Cas shook his head. Poor, poor Dean. Dean only spoke of what would happen to the family if he had died, and nothing about his own fear of his near-death experience. He was ignoring himself in the equation. Cas snapped his fingers and the bottle disappeared.

Dean glared daggers at the angel, but before he could open is mouth and spew more venom, Cas silenced him.

"Now you listen to me, little boy," Cas spoke in a deadly firm voice. "You do not speak to me like that, no matter how upset you are. If you disrespect me like that again, not only will I spank you, but I will wash your mouth out with soap."

Cas took a deep breath and spoke before Dean could object. "Buddy, I know you are hurting," he said gently. "I am proud that you think about Sammy all the time, but think about yourself. You could have died... We could have lost you... That's a scary thing. It's okay to be scared." 

It was silent for a few seconds as the two locked eyes. Nothing was said but Cas could tell Dean was thinking over the angel's words. Finally, the Winchester dipped his head and a faint whisper escaped his lips.

"...It was being scared that got me hurt in the first place...if I didn't freak out about seeing the monster I would of been able to defend myself. It's my fault I got hurt. It's my fault I scared Sammy into aging down.”

Satisfied that Dean had changed his tone, Cas took a protective step forward and opened his arms.

"Monsters are scary things. It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to them, you are very brave. It's okay to be a little scared. Being scared did not make you at fault." 

As Cas opened his arms, Dean couldn't help but cross his arms in front of his chest, trying to protect himself from the sudden welcome. He could never just accept it...never accept love. Not like Sammy could. Sammy could try a new ageplay aspect and have it be part of his routine by the end of the night. Dean naturally just felt uncomfortable whenever Cas showed any kind of personal affection...Dean was the trouble child. He had to fight to get what he wanted.

Dean had to play his part.

"NO!!" Dean suddenly screamed out, stomping his foot to the ground in anger. "IT’S NEVER OK TO BE SCARED!! I HAVE TO BE BIG AND PROTECT EVERYONE!!! NO, NO, NO!!”

Cas hurt deep inside for his little boy, and he prepared himself for long battle.

Shouting at Dean would not help his problem. In fact, Cas was more likely to get to the root of Dean's problem if he remained calm. Dean wanted a fight. He always had to reconcile this part of therapy with violence and aggression, but Cas refused to give him that option. 

Pulling out a kitchen chair, Cas sat down and patted his lap. "Whenever you are ready," Cas said simply. "I can spank, then cuddle, and then talk. Or in any order you choose then. But those are your only three options, little boy.”

Dean was willing to do any of the three options but he did NOT want to start the spanking. To show Dadd- Castiel that he was accepting this. No. Dean wanted forced. So, he simply crossed his arms and stared back at the angel with stubborn eyes.

"No." He spat. "I don't need that and you can't make me do anything.”

"You know the safe word if you want to stop," Cas replied, still exuding calm. He moved purposefully, slipping off his coat and tossing it on the counter, and then began to unbutton his sleeves and roll them up.

"I am do not intend to make you do anything, young man," Cas stated, moving onto his other sleeve. "Like I said... Spanking, talking, or cuddling. You pick the order."

Dean groaned loudly at Cas's words and held his head. He just wanted this over with. Why? Why couldn't he slip like Sammy?

"...Please." Dean croaked. "Don't make me walk over there.”

Cas nodded. That was some form of communication, at least.

"You are aware that if I come get you, that means you have chosen the spanking first, right?”

There was a pause before Dean gave the slightest nod he could. He wanted to pretend he wasn't accepting it, but he had to. Spanking was the only way to age him down.

Cas approached Dean very solemnly. The tiny height difference between them was lost in moments where Cas' body language spoke dominance.

He took Dean by the upper arm, prepared to not let the boy fight him. He started back towards the chair, dragging Dean along with him. 

Dean expected to be scooped up into Cas's arms like he normally was when the angel wanted Dean to feel like a little boy. No, Cas apparently wanted Dean to feel every footstep as they made their way to the lone chair in the back of the kitchen.

Dean's feet were sloppily being dragged along the kitchen foot as the boy stumbled along. As they neared towards the chair, panic finally settled in Dean's chest as he realized what was soon going to happen to his bottom. As per usual, Dean started to fuss.

"N-No!" Dean whimpered as he tried to pull away from Cas's grip. "No! No!"

Dean wasn't sure if he was fighting against the spanking at this point, or fighting just to fight.

Cas managed to sit down in the chair despite Dean's struggle. Without further conversation he held tightly to Dean's arm and with one hand expertly unsnapped Dean's pants.

"Settle down, Dean Matthew," Cas scolded, managing to yank the denim to the boys ankles.

Hooking a finger into Dean’s boxer briefs; they soon joined his pants on the ground.

"Over you go," Cas instructed and he guided Dean's body onto his thighs as if the boy offered no resistance at all. 

Cas could feel Dean's chest panting heavily over his legs, along with nervous squirming. Dean crossed and uncrossed his legs feverishly, trying anything to get his bare lower half out of Cas's sight. He hated being naked while being little. It felt like everyone was staring at him.

"W-Wait." Dean choked out as he wiggled on Cas's legs. "Wh-Where's Sammy? I-I don't want him to hear...it'll freak him out."

 Cas smiled at Dean’s concern, though Dean wasn’t able to see it. Cas rubbed circles on the small of Dean's back as he spoke, "Sammy is asleep, he won't wake up for another hour and half at least, and we should not disturb him. That is... If you keep your shouting to a minimal volume."

Before giving Dean a chance to retort, he began the spanking in earnest. 

Unlike with Sammy, whose spankings took on more of a chaotic method with no rhyme or reason, Cas took a very deliberate approach to spanking Dean. He followed a very ritualized pattern when disciplining his oldest boy, because Dean feared structure as much as he needed it. Being able to predict, but not control, where each heavy swat would land was essential in this moment. Dean knew the exact spot that Cas would target, and no amount of fighting from him could change that. Dean needed the reminder. 

So Cas did as he always did with Dean. Six swats on the left cheek, six swats in the right cheek, six swats to the left sit spot, six swats to the right sit spot, three to each of his upper thighs, and then begin again. 

For Sammy, one rotation was enough to bring him to tears, but not Dean. Dean was stubborn and bullheaded. How long they were there and how many swats would be delivered was dependent on Dean's acceptance of his little mindset and the willingness to fight off the demons. 

By the fourth rotation, Cas finally started to feel Dean twitch on top of his lap. Soon after that, Dean started to wiggle more and more as he whimpered. His bottom was a nice bright red by now and Cas see the shame and pain painted on Dean's face. The shaking from the boy became worse with every smack until Dean finally cried out.

"P-Please, stoooop, D-Daddy!" Dean whined loudly, shifting in Cas's lap. There it was, the magic word. Daddy.

Cas paused, his hand ceased spanking and began to rub the heated flesh in soothing circles.

"Good, good," He mused out loud, reaching down to run fingers through Dean's messy hair. "Now that we have gotten that part out of the way and we are familiar with our roles let the real spanking begin." 

And Cas kept a comforting hand on the back of Dean's sweaty neck as he resumed spanking. This time with less rhythm and more force. The slaps were coming in quick, very firm succession, one right after another with no plan of where Cas would land the next one. 

"Why are you over my lap getting your bottom spanked, Dean Matthew?" 

"Ah! Ah! Ah!!!" Dean cried out desperately at the randomness of the swat, twisting painfully at the burning sensation. It hurt so much more than Dean could imagine it could. D-Did he do something that bad? Something that made Daddy have to punish him so harshly?

Of course to Cas, this was just a normal settling spanking, but Dean was thinking so much differently. After such a close encounter with death, Dean had been dangling on the brink of aging down but fought through the feelings because he had a hunt to finish. But now, Dean was the naughty little boy with his red well-spanked exposed to the entire world and it was making his head spin dangerously.

He felt so vulnerable and so scared and wanted nothing than to be in his Daddy's arms.

"I-I-I...was n-naughty." Dean's bottom lip wobbled, his eyes watering. "I was bad-d and I j-just want this to be o-over..."

Cas shook his head. Of course he would think he was bad. Dean always thought he was bad; this time Dean had been bad... Just not what Dean thought he has been bad about. This spanking was very much about Dean's challenge to Cas this morning. He tossed back that shot glass of whiskey daring Cas to take him in hand. 

"That's right, little one, you were naughty," Cas scolded, his hand rising and falling in a new rhythmic pattern. Over and over and over again, as if he was playing a beat on Dean's rapidly heating backside.

"But you likely think that you were naughty for the wrong reasons," Cas lectured, his hand never ceasing to hit it's mark, causing Dean to cry out each time.

"Tell me, Dean," Cas paused, and allowed the palm of his hand to soothe his boys punished bottom. "Do you feel as though you were naughty before this morning? Do you feel that you did something wrong by sending Sammy home with me while you finished up the hunt? Do you feel guilty for wanting to be little after you almost died? Guilty, that for a moment, you considered your own needs over Sam’s?" 

With that, Cas was certain he hit the nail on the head.  Dean was always eager to protect his little brother, and make sure that Sammy was taken care off. However, Dean was responding to the therapy so well that his desire to shift to the little boy inside of him automatically surfaced when there was pain or fear. The tough guy persona was an act, and Cas had been aware of what Dean had needed from the very moment the incident happened. As much as he had wanted to take both Sam and Dean home and make them his boys, Dean would have fought tooth and nail. No, they had to wait till now; the only difference was now they had to deal with Dean's needs, and his guilt.

Thankfully, Cas had as ample amount of patience, and all that the Winchester's had now was time. 

Dean needed plenty of that right now. He felt like failure, as a daddy and a big brother. It was his job to make sure Sammy was taken care of, that Sammy was okay. What kind of selfish person was he if he put himself first?

A loud sob escaped Dean's lips as his body started to shake over his Daddy's knee. Cas knew exactly what he was thinking and that's what this spanking must be about, Dean's failures. "I-I'm sorry, D-Daddy...I-I tried to be big for him...I-I just want him to be ok...I-I'm sorry."

As much as Dean's heartbroken voice broke his heart, he knew that the time that Dean needed over his knee was far from over. Cas was silent, the sound of the stinging spanks filling the kitchen. Dean was restless, he tried his hardest to lie still, but it was impossible. His toes jerked off the floor and he wiggled furiously. It was such an oddity that both of the Winchesters could take punches to the face without making a sound, but something as simple as a spanking could produce squirming and tears. Perhaps that was the necessity behind the spanking, the extreme boyishness of being put over someone’s lap with your bottom bared and someone that you love scolding you for your childish behavior.

It was certainly one part of the equation; the other part was the abundance of love that Cas offered the boys after their spankings were done. Both Winchester's were so unfamiliar with love that they soaked it up like a sponge. Having always been punished for their actions, but having never experienced the wonderful feeling of grace and forgiveness, all they knew was guilt and self-punishment. The moments which followed a spanking were some of the most important to their developing relationship. The boys were able to release their tears and their guilt, knowing they had been sufficiently punished, and that Daddy had forgiven them. Cas cherished their fingers clinging onto him desperately and listening to them transition from sobs to tiny hitches of breath. They did not shy away from or wince at his touches as they might in any other given moment; in fact, they welcomed them. 

Cas wanted to be in that moment. He wanted to hold his little boy tight, but they had some issues to resolve first. Dean was punishing himself for his failures. He thought he was responsible for all the times that Sam had been hurt in the past, he thought he could have and should have done more. That was unacceptable.  

"Samuel is just fine," Cas reminded Dean gently, pausing to give a soothing rub to the rapidly darkening flesh. "He's sleeping."

Dean gripped Daddy’s pant leg and braced himself, he sniffed back his tears. He opened his mouth to say something, but Cas shushed him.

"Let me reiterate Dean Matthew," Cas scolded, beginning to spank again. "There is no reason for you to feel guilt for desiring to be little. Especially in the moment that happened. I understand that your desire was to protect Sammy and stay big for his sake, and that fault is mine. I should have been able to see the fear that you were experiencing. I should have brought you both home with me. In the future, I will be more observant. However, the matter still stands," He landed particularly hard swats on Dean's sit spots, and the boy could not contain his howl. "You are not to feel guilt because you wanted what your brother had in that moment." 

Dean couldn't describe it. The mix of confusion yet safety in his chest combined with the violently stinging pain on his bottom made Dean feel so...protected. He wasn't being ripped apart by a monster anymore. He wasn't a big brother anymore. He was a little boy being spanked over his daddy's lap. With that headspace, Dean finally broke into a mess of tears and hiccups.

Cas let his boy sob himself out over his lap, his hand still falling in a steady rhythm. But he couldn't help but frown. Why did it take so much for Dean to just admit his feelings? To age down? To come to terms with the fact that he felt safe being a little? Why was it so shameful?

The angel's thoughts were interrupted when Dean tried to form words through his sobs.

"I-I'm sorry...n-n-not...a good…little..."

Had Cas been prepared to stop the spanking, Dean's comment certainly put that thought aside.

"Not a good..." Cas could barely repeat the words, he was in such a state of disbelief. "Dean... there is no set of standards to define the morality of being little. There is no bad or good. There is just being little." 

As he lectured, he was spanking Dean's very, very sensitive thighs, causing Dean to kick and buck like mad. Cas was having none of his pitiful attempts to escape and held him down with one strong hand. "I refuse to hear any of that talk, we have addressed it before. Many times. Every time you bring it up from this point forward, I will spank you thighs just like this." 

He laid into Dean's well-toned thighs with the flat of his hand, and Dean wailed.

"Next time I will use the hairbrush.... do I make myself clear? You are not a bad little. You are mine, and I like you the way you are." 

"Ok! Ok!" Dean wailed. "I'm sorry!!!" 

The pain was becoming too much and Dean just wanted to sleep at this point. The hunt had taken so much out of him both physically and emotionally and Dean just wanted to shut his brain off for a while.

"P-Please, daddy...!" Tears and bits of snot ran down Dean's face as he hiccuped miserably. "I-I can't think...I'm tired…"

Cas stopped spanking and instead rubbed Dean's back. He knew that Dean was tired; in his eagerness to return home Dean had only slept for a few hours. Soon, Cas would tuck Dean into bed next to Sammy to sleep for a little while longer. 

"I know you are tired, my little one," he cooed gently. "However, we need to finish this conversation."

Cas gently moved Dean up and off his lap, maneuvering the boy so he was sitting on Cas’s lap, his very sore bottom hanging off his Daddy’s thigh so that it was not further irritated. 

"It's okay to want to be little when something scary happens, you understand, right?" 

For now, Dean would agree. He still wasn’t happy with wanting to be little at the hunt, especially when Sammy was little. Keeping the adult and the little head space separate was very important to Dean, and having control of what age he would go to was important to. He needed some kind of control over himself didn't he?

For now though, Dean wanted to age down desperately and there was no denying that. "I get that, Daddy..."

The hunter's arms snaked around Cas's neck as Dean pulled himself closer to his daddy. "Please...I really wanna sleep…"

Cas could still feel that bit of resistance to hold onto that small shred of control. With a sigh, Cas decided that Dean was in a state where he could at least function without arguing, so the spanking and the discussion would be set aside for now.

"Alright, baby boy, let's get you up and into bed."

Cas worked the little boy’s briefs and pants off his feet.

As soon as Dean was standing by himself, he modestly covered his boy parts up with his large hands. He hated being naked when he was in little space and he had no idea how Sammy was able to just be naked in front of him and Daddy so often...

Speaking of Sammy.

"I wanna go see Sammy before I go to sleep." Dean stated quietly.

 


End file.
